I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Second week post op labral tear surgery

Well I can now get on and off the couch and the first part of week 2 I got in my bed and managed to sleep there. I had to take a pain killer as it hurt, when on the bed. But it was another step forward! I didn’t take any hydro-acet during the day, just at night

During the day I took the low dose aspirin still and Naproxen 2x a day to prevent bone ossification. My doctor was very adamant about taking the naproxen. To help with ulcer prevention, I also took medication to help that in the mornings.

I was awake enough to where I decided to work from home. It was not a lot of work, mainly computer work and talking on the phone at times. I didn’t really get off the couch much but did my “ankle pumps” and other exercises therapy recommended.

I noticed my ability to multi-task was non-existent and I forgot things easily. I had to do one thing at a time, which I am not used to. I also had to write stuff down to remind me to do something.

So I was scared that would continue and I would not get better. I was scared that I would be stuck being slow and could not do my job how it should be done.

My therapy went good this week, mainly just stretching exercises. I had a couple bad days but nothing to major. I was still on crutches and the brace. God was getting me through and giving me the strength I needed. I knew that this will pass and I was no longer impatient.

I have learned previously that no matter what, God will get me through threw bad times. I learned that we all have to go through trials to make us stronger. Each one of our journeys are different buy if we have Faith in God, our end result is the same. Yes I am ready to be free of this part of my life, but it is now part of me. I will keep on going.

First week post op labral tear surgery

The first 3 days was rather a blur. Had surgery on Monday, Tuesday I pretty much slept all day. Wednesday and Thursday I slept a lot as well and don’t remember much.

I couldn’t lift my leg, as the muscles didn’t want to work. I had to have help putting my leg up on the couch. I also had to have my husband help me off the couch and lift me up. As I had no strength in my leg and was just weak overall.

On the night of surgery I ate soup so it was easy on my stomach. The next few nights were a blur. I really only took 2 hydro-acet. Next day after surgery, one tablet a day for the following few days.

I went the day after surgery to physical therapy, which I was still out of it. My husband actually had to answer most all the questions. They really didn’t do too much. I was told due I was to be 25% weight bearing. They gave me some excercises to help keep muscles from declining worse.

I also had problems with my vision, afterwards for a 3-4 days. I had to take off my glasses to read close up, or it would be blurry. I could see far away, just not close up. I had to go without glasses and that was annoying. It slowly got better, although still had relapses after those dew days.

That Thursday I also went to therapy and I was a little more awake but I was pretty sore after. I wasnt able to do much due to tje weight bearing status.

Friday I was finally awake some, and with the little excercises, from therapy, I was able to get up off my couch with the help of my crutches. Now I still could not fully dress myself, but at least I wasn’t stuck on the couch. I still couldn’t get on my bed but, I knew in time things would get better.

Life on crutches part one

The first part of the struggles with being on crutches was gaining strength. Trying to walk very far took a lot out of me. It was also a challenge getting up and down stairs, in and out of stores, and just doing regular tasks.

I was blessed having horses so my upper body strength wasn’t too bad, but some muscles you just don’t use.

In the beginning, I had someone carry everything for me, from food to laptop for work. It was December 1 when I was put on crutches so of course, I couldn’t help decorate for Christmas.

Having to sit around while other people took care of my animals, decorated for Christmas, and did things for me I was unable to do at the time, bothered me. I had a some pity parties, got frustrated, cried, and withdrew at times.

My hunting season was not great either as I didn’t get to hunt much. So not being able to help provide meat in the freezer was a downfall as well.

I wanted so much to just go about my life with no worries, but there I was limited. I started thinking of all the things I couldn’t do, and what I was missing out on. I just felt helpless.

I couldn’t jump on the trampoline, couldn’t walk my horse, couldn’t go to BBR

Finals although I qualified. I was upset because I had a chance to be top 10 in my horses division, but due to the wreck I had to stop riding horses until I was cleared. I started getting grumpy and withdrew.

Then of course my husband stepped in and he allowed me to have a breakdown, pity party, or whatever you want to call it. I cried and afterwards I felt so much better. I then turned to God for answers and realized that although my current situation was tough, it was not who I was, I am no quitter.

I am really good at talking with God when things are going good, but I have struggled with getting closer to him when I struggle.

I started thinking of all the positives, and found a way to carry my computer for work. I didn’t give up and got my horse to lead him with my crutches. I figured out solutions to a my problems that I could address.

I had my kids take turns going to the store with me so I could shop instead of my husband, unless it required heavy lifting.

I spent time with my horse just brushing him while on crutches. My barrel horse was in the barn, so I had to have someone catch him and turn him loose in the pasture for a little bit then put him back up. I tried leading him with the crutches but I would hit his leg and it wouldn’t work out. I never gave up though and kept trying! One day we both figured out how to manage with me on crutches. That was a “winning” situation, and I felt so independent and happy!

I wrote in a journal to release some frustrations and challenges.

I learned how to carry plates, and drinks with my crutches and managed to get in and out of the shower by myself.

Now it was hard when I got my letter for BBR finals and had to just throw it away. But I prayed about it and came to the conclusion there was a reason for me not going.

Well during the BBR they had a bad storm and they didn’t get to perform all days and some trailers were tipped over. So God protected me from that.

God has showed me different things along the way. I read the whole bible front to back then started picking it apart to really understand it. This helped me out and the books of Job and Esther stuck out to me.

Esther was born to do something great, although she was scared and didn’ know how.

Job had so much faith, even after loosing everything. He never gave up!

They both were rewarded for the love they shared for God and doing what was right, even when it was hard.

I missed out a lot with my girls, husband, and horses. But I did grow. I grew spiritually and physically.

Through physical therapy I gained strength and different excercises to keep my strength and get stronger than before.

Spiritually I grew closer to God, and opened my eyes. I learned patience, perseverance, hope, and faith the hard way. I learned that no matter what God is close to the broken hearted and he does provide. Although I already knew it, he reinforced it.

I made it through, and after months of being non weight bearing my fracture started to heal.

I was able to get off crutches and had an injection in my hip. The doctor wanted me to continue excercising and gaining strength so when or if I need surgery, I will be strong enough. He said recovery would be easier that way. It was kind of a relief I would be off crutches for summer.

Thanksgiving trip ending in Pain & bad news!

With the kids it usually takes about 18 to 19 hour driving to get to where I used to live. That is trying to not take many stops except to fuel up and eat at least once.

Normally I am ready to go when we get there, except a little tired.

When we arrived I was pretty stoved up but the day after was the worst.

I had a horrible time trying to walk and it was then that I realized for definite that I had a bigger problem than just a pulled groin muscle.

I couldn’t stand up straight and the pain was awful when walking. I usually ride horses with my mom but that was out! It got better over the next few days after rest, but put a damper on my vacation.

I contacted the doctor via an app on my phone and he called me later stating that he was referring me to a specialist in Springfield. He said that he just got results back from MRI and it was a problem in the hips. Since he did not do hips, he would not be able to help. He did say there was for sure a tear and when I came back home to take it easy.

I was a good girl and stayed off my mom’s horses. We did not do some things we normally do because of myself so I felt bad. We even left a day early so we could take it nice and slow going home which helped some.

I went to the specialist in Springfield when I went home, and he could tell because it was more comfortable for me to stand crooked, versus sitting on anything.

The Specialist informed me that I not only had two tears, one anterior and one posterior, I also had a stress fracture on my hip. He put me on crutches and informed me that I would have to be non-weight-bearing on that side until the fracture healed.

The doctor stated he would be unable to fix the tears until the fracture healed because if he tried he would literally break me in half. Those were his exact words so I chose to be good and do what he asked.

I stayed off horses and remained on crutches for close to six months. I went through therapy two to three times a week and juggled working, and family life.

I was just grateful that I could still drive. It was very hard and trying times as I am very independent. But I knew God would get me through this trial, as he always does.

Wreck that changed everything

I was driving my Chevy one ton truck as the sun was coming up when my life changed. My radio was tuned to K-Love, which is a Christian station. I had just got promoted at work about two weeks prior, and was headed to work.

I popped up over a small hill and seen a person at a stop sign, but before I had a chance to do anything she pulled out in front of me.

She was a young girl headed to school & I knew in an instant we would collide. I tried to slow down but it happened in a split second, although it seemed to last forever.

I remember praying to God to protect her as she was in a smaller vehicle. The impact was in her drivers side and luckily it hit her front wheel, and drivers door. It pushed her over 50 Yards.

If it would have hit only her drivers door, things would have been different. She was also lucky that her car was older and made of metal instead of fiberglass.

When the collision was over, I expected the worst. I couldn’t see the girl and couldn’t open my door, or unbuckle. There was the stench of airbags and antifreeze. My first thought was get to her, so I managed to finally unbuckle by God’s grace. The buckles locked so It took awhile to figure a way out of it. Then I forcefully opened my door as it was dented. About that time I seen her opening the passenger side of her car. She had to crawl over her console to get out.

I walked over to her and checked her for injuries, then gave her a hug. Poor thing was shaking and it appeared she was fine with the exception of a few minor cuts and scratches from her broken glass.

I called 911 & opted no ambulance since I was not in extreme pain. With being out in the country it took awhile before help arrived.

There was a guy that asked if I could move my truck so got my truck moved out of the middle of the road. Right afterwards the guy left the scene although he was the first one there.

I realized I would not be moving my truck anymore. I also called my husband who made it there in no time and just by the grace of God he was in service. He was working construction at the time and where they were building it is hit & miss.

As we were waiting my neck, groin, and back started hurting. I figured it was whiplash and didn’t think anything of it. I have high pain tolerance so I figured I would have my husband take me to get checked.

By the time the tow truck got my truck to my house, and I got to the hospital, a few hours had passed. I was swollen & my groin hurt. I’ve never had that kind of pain there before. They did an X-ray for mainly my back, they said I probably pulled a groin muscle. They found a mass as well that they were concerned with.

They offered pain medication and told me to follow up with my primary.