Such a Time as This

This a tribute to an amazing person who is now in heaven rejoicing and singing praises. We lost a truly amazing person May 3, 2019. She was a warrior, child of Christ, mother, fighter, and so much more!

She was the kind of person that Even though she went through a major fight with cancer and the devil; she never complained. She always had a beautiful smile on her face and put others first. She always took the time to help others in need.

There were times when quitting seemed easier with some of the things I went through but she inspired me, along with many others, to be a better person & always keep going. She had a heart of gold. I just can not say enough good about her.

I struggled a few times and she always knew what to say. Some of her key phrases I remember her telling me is:

Winning: If you are out there trying you may not win the gold buckle but you will be winning. Never giving up will pay off if you keep trying. Winning is not letting the devil take your faith away! Winning is overcoming fear and conquering your demons. Winning is the baby steps you take on your way to greatness.

I was struggling with things after my wreck and not riding horses yet; and at the time she wasn’t riding horses either. She sent me this message and it gave me hope. She never waivered in her faith and was truly inspirational!

The last thing I got was a text from her, as even in her toughest times she still sent out a positive texts on Fridays.

“If you don’t value yourself, don’t expect anyone else to value you. Be the best you God intended you to be and not who the devil hoped you were.” Rpotter

She loved helping others and loved showing what Faith can do. I know many people said at her celebration of life, how she didn’t want anyone to know how sick she truly was. She did it because she didn’t want anyone to lose faith.

I was struggling with sleep and kept having nightmares for almost a month. Then one night, I had a dream with her in it. I sent this to her the next day but never got to tell her the details of the Dream.

“I had a dream about you last night. It was strange. You were at my house and we were talking about life and God. It was actually a very peaceful dream. Which I haven’t been having lately. I really can’t describe it. ”

See in this dream it felt so real, like she was right there. We talked about our kids, husbands, and everything else good going on with our lives. We talked about how God puts people in our lives for certain times, just like Esther. We talked how he protects us and in the end we will be surrounded by a peaceful fog with a huge glorious light shining through from above and we would be lifted up by the hand of God to the golden gates of Heaven.

This dream brought me so much peace and not even sure how it came about.

I will never be able to thank her enough or her family enough for supporting her while she followed Gods dreams for her. She was an amazing person and I just hope I’m at least 1/2 that good of a person. I’ll miss her Sunday morning services before barrel racing, her mentorship, her positive texts, her unbelievable prayers, her faith, her compassion, and most of all her heart. She absolutely loved her family and was so proud of them. Never once did I hear her say anything negative. She will truly be missed but I know I will see her again.

So in honor of her, think positive, be positive, show others positivity; but most of all HAVE FAITH and NEVER GIVE UP! Your problems are all in God’s hands so give it to him and focus on what God wants you to do with your life. As Roxy would say the battle was already won, you just focus on God and doing the right thing and let God handle your problems. Because YOU, YES You, were made for such a time as this!

Throw away your trash!

Have you ever drove down the road and seen trash scattered, or bags to be picked up? Have you seen someone’s vehicle that you can’t sit in because they haven’t cleaned it in years? Well our lives are pretty similar.

Just like the trash scattered all over the roads, we can scatter our “trash” as well. Think of a time you said something to someone that wasn’t nice when you were angry or hurt. Most people do that to try to make themselves feel better, or keep from getting hurt.

When honestly it is not making things better. As that words that got tossed out of your mouth has hurt someone. Just like the trash it can kill or hurt animals or other people.

We don’t think it’s a big deal, as we don’t deal with it. Someone else usually has to come through and clean up the mess.

Now there are times when you get called out for throwing trash out. But that doesn’t mean to keep it bottled up. That can be just as bad.

If we don’t properly handle your trash, it can destroy you. Just like a car that no one cleans out.

If we keep holding things in, whether it’s because too nice or too scared, it doesn’t end well. All their frustrations keep piling up, and they have no release. They have so much built up fear, frustration, disappointments, and negativity, that eventually there is no room for anyone else. Just like the car, if you can’t keep it clean, who wants to ride with you?

Whether you throw out trash, or keep it piled up, there is an answer! The answer is simple: leave your trash at the altar!

The only one that is strong enough to handle our problems or who can clean us up, is God. If we take it to the altar, leave everything there! Don’t throw it out to have others have to clean it up. Don’t hold it inside to build up. Take it to the garbage can and get rid of it!

The altar is there to be our garbage can. All our problems, hate, emotions, struggles, and whatever else we are struggling with.

The altar is there to help us make amends, open our hearts, and minds in order to clean us.

So when we are faced with difficulties, instead of throwing it out the window to affect others, or keeping it bottled up, take it to the altar!

Time to take out the trash and renew ourselves!

Last New Year Resolutions-Goals- Accomplished?

I had so much going on last year that I didn’t have time to process much. Between work, kids, and recovering, it really didn’t give me a chance.

Everyone in my family wrote on a piece of paper a goal for the year. The bigger the goal the better. My goal last year was simple, to get stronger so I can ride horses again.

Now I did get to ride a couple times last year for a short time. But the fear of the what if’s took over. Which is crazy as I didn’t get hurt on a horse. I got hurt in a truck. Crazy I know! I seen what it did to my husband and kids when I was not able to take care of myself, and I didn’t want it to happen again. So I became cautious.

With that means putting what I love in a drawer and locking it away. Not really on purpose but I just had something telling me not yet.

Maybe it was me listening to the doctor when he said he didn’t recommend me riding but if I did to wait at least a year. Maybe it was me fearing of what I would accomplish. Maybe it was a fear of what if I am unable to do what I love without hurting myself again.

So many things, yet my life was so hectic I never figured it out last year. During the New Year I did have a chance to reflect.

I know God was telling me not yet for a reason. I trust that he knows best and I should always follow when he tells me to do, or not to do something!

I realize that I am not afraid of horses or riding, I’m afraid getting on the horse and not being able to keep riding. Not of getting hurt, but me not being able to physically ride.

Yes I know it is a crazy thing to be scared of. I should be just thankful I am here, and I know I am blessed. Like everyone else, I have emotions too, and I’m human as well.

We put thoughts in our heads that sometimes keep us out of trouble, but sometimes they keep us from accomplishing great things.

I believe we are all here for a purpose and I know life is too short. So instead of all the what if’s, I am taking the next step.

The next step is actually getting back on a horse, not just for a few minutes. Then continuously riding all year. This is the only way I will know if I can do it still.

I still have back and hip pain, and never got my back fixed. So not 100% sure if my body will handle me riding like I used to. But if I don’t at least try, then I will be giving into what the devil wants. I will be giving into my fears, and for that I need to try!

Take the first step

If you want anything in life, you must work for it. Life is definitely not easy and it is full of trials. These trials are what helps us become who we are. Just as long as we remember that God gives us choices.

If we lose sight on what is good, we may lose sight of who we really are meant to become. But if we keep our eyes on God and the positives, we will continue to grow! Our growth will know no limits, and take us to heights we never dreamed of. The only thing it takes is for us to take the first step!

To be completely honest, I’ve struggled on finding on who I am meant to be. I thought I had it all figured out til my wreck. I was really good the first year, as I wanted to get better, to barrel race again. I had all the motivation and desire, but the pain was too much.

I couldn’t sit for 30 minutes or stand for 10 minutes. I knew that surgery was my next option. I was scared but knew if I wanted to do things I did before, I had to do it.

Surgery was brutal, not only on myself but for my husband and kids. I realized that I wanted to be there for them for the future. So I started babying myself.

Now I did my exercises and worked out and as long as I was doing that my pain with my back was good. So I decided to not fix my back. My hip was sore but nothing like before.

I did that for awhile and finally got back on a horse at my moms. I cried of course, (happy tears) but when I got home I didn’t have a horse to ride. I kept pushing myself to get stronger til my daughter got sick.

She had a blood infection from chigger bites and scared me. I was off work for a week and I let myself stop working out. It took a little while to get her back to where I wasn’t watching her constantly as she had flair ups. Ever since then it has been hard to get back into it.

I had developed a fear of doing things that I used to have so much confidence in the past. But the first step is realizing this. The first step is always the hardest and no matter what anyone says, it is possible!

So I have taken the first step again. This is and will always be an ongoing battle, but I am willing to keep praying and moving forward. I know God has plans for me and he is not done yet.

I am going to get back into exercising every day and working on overcoming fears I have obtained while on this journey. I know life is too short to not be happy. Life is also too short to my love your dreams!

I have a wonderful life and truly blessed right now, but I know God has bigger plans for me. For that I will take my first steps, to greatness! Each step may not be easy but at least it is forward motion!

Distracted Driving (Not for young kids)

You know it only takes 3 seconds to get into an accident. Most people can’t read a text in less than 5 seconds!

I used to be the type of person that thought I was in control, and I wouldn’t wreck if I drove distracted. I always thought if I slowed down or held my phone up, etc., I wouldn’t get in a wreck. But that is not the case in most instances. I have realized the risks are too high and quit doing it.

It doesn’t matter, whether you have been drinking, on some kind of drugs (including pot), changing the radio stations, or texting and driving! Any of these things distracts the driver from being responsible.

If you sit behind that wheel you are not only putting your life on the line, but those in your passenger seat or others you encounter. I wanted to share this in hopes that you will think twice before getting behind that wheel distracted.

Imagine driving down the road, your phone goes off. You are pretty confident in your ability to drive so instead of pulling over you look down. In that 5 seconds it took you to look down you crossed the center line. As soon as you look up it’s too late, there’s a loud crash! Glass flying everywhere then everything goes black. It feels like it last forever but has only lasted about 30-45 seconds.

When you wake up, the stench of airbags fill your vehicle. You look around and notice the other vehicle in the ditch upside down. You have blood running down your face and on your hands from glass. You manage to get out of the vehicle but can’t find your phone.

You head over to the other vehicle and no one is moving. It is a mother and child. Neither one of them answer, then after about 10 minutes you hear whimpering from the back seat. The child is awake but has severe injuries. They start crying and nothing you do helps. The mom still is not responding. A passerby already called 911 & you are shaking so bad due to adrenaline.

The emergency personnel arrives and they pronounce the mom and fly the child to the hospital. You get to walk away, but completely changed!

Because of your five second mistake, it cost the life of a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and aunt. Her children will have to grow up without a mom. Her husband will have to raise their children by himself. The child will never walk without a limp and will have nightmares the rest of his life. The emergency personnel will have to live forever with the memory of what they had to come up on. All because of a text!

Now this didn’t happen but I have seen & know of many accidents that something similar happened. I know of many who have lost their loved ones or their own lives, have been lost, or forever changed due to distractions while driving.

I’ve seen a lady get hit by a car, horses running into a young person on a horse in a warm up pen, and a few other accidents from texting. I’ve lost friends because of distracted driving and driving under the influence. I’ve seen others who passed because someone was under the influence and didn’t see another vehicle.

You don’t want to be responsible for killing an innocent person and having that image in your mind for the rest of your life! Not only will you have to live with it, the emergency personnel and the other people involved will have to live with it as well.

You think it will not happen to you, but it can! It’s truly sad these accidents could be prevented! It starts with you.

This society makes it hard, as most people feel like they have to respond to text instantly. That’s not what text messages were made for.

If you are not strong enough to not text & drive, put your phone on silent & in the glove box while you are driving. Get a designated driver, put your phone down, It’s not worth the risk!

I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

May 2016 dream

I was going through my memories on Facebook and something that popped up that brought back a lot of emotions. It was about my “papa” that I lost. He was a rancher, cowboy, and no matter what, he knew how to put a smile on my face!

“I had a dream last night & I was in a room with a lot of old pictures of my family growing up. A lot pictures of the ranch we grew up on with my nene & papa. All day I have been thinking of him for some reason.

When my grandpa passed away recently, it hit me hard as I was his raccoon. For the first few weeks I would wake before the alarm & I felt his presence, letting me know everything would be okay.

Well I’ve been stressed here lately & this morning, again I was woke up & had this motivation I could not explain. I remember our last conversation we had over the phone before he was sick, & he told me how much he was proud of me for everything with the horses & nursing.

I think the good Lord knew I needed this today as I want to continue to make the Lord happy as well as my family. I know I am not making my own plans, I’m just leaving it up to God as he knows better than I do, what I need. All I know is today I feel blessed to have the life I have, & it’s not easy but I will get where God wants me to go. With that I know in my heart as today he showed me I can.”