Letting fear control you!

Facing fear is truly scary but the reward to overcoming fear is much greater!

I’m probably not the first to tell you how hard it is to overcome your fear. The biggest struggle for anyone is the mental game.

Facing fear is truly scary but the reward to overcoming fear is much greater!

With my wreck getting back to riding horses has been a challenge. So many emotions going through my head: fear of winning, fear of failure, fear of injuries to my hip again, fear of driving. All have their own reasonings but still too much fear can cripple your dreams!

Yes I put fear of winning- sometimes when people win it changes them. They lose sight on their journey and who they are as a person, it becomes about the glory. I am a very humble person and I dont ever want to lose where I came from. I don’t want to lose the precious moments with my kids and husband.

Fear of failure is a huge one for a lot of people and honestly not high on my list. But my reason is I don’t want to let my family down if I don’t win. I do want them to be proud of me and let my kids know it’s okay to dream big! If I take a leap of faith and just focus on one thing and it doesn’t work, I don’t want my family to suffer for it.

Same goes for fear of re-injury. That surgery was brutal & if I get hurt again that would mean another surgery. I don’t know if I really want to put my family through that again. So I have become overly cautious and with that I have lost some of my confidence.

The fear of driving is simple- I was injured driving so this is my greatest fear. If I get to riding good I will have to go places with my horse. Then I would be responsible for his life as well when driving and that is scary! I know it seems so easy and some will think it’s crazy. But this is my biggest hold up is the driving.

Now how must one overcome your fears you may ask? Baby steps- one step at a time and always keep moving forward! Figure out what you are fearful of and conquer your fear!

What are you afraid of? Start out small, for example loping a horse. Go in a small pen, after you are comfortable walking trot a few strides then return to walking. Do this til you are comfortable and extend the trotting time each time til you are trotting circles confident and comfortable. Then do the same for loping. This method can be used for anything.

See the biggest thing about fear is it is a liar! It tries to keep you from attaining your dreams and goals. Every small step is honestly a giant leap!

The devil will try to tell you that you can’t but God will give you the power to prove you can! When you are about to do something scary and those voices are telling you to be afraid and you can’t do it- Don’t Listen! Tell those doubting voices that your God is greater- your passion is greater- your purpose is greater!

You can overcome fear- you can accomplish your dreams!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

Last New Year Resolutions-Goals- Accomplished?

I had so much going on last year that I didn’t have time to process much. Between work, kids, and recovering, it really didn’t give me a chance.

Everyone in my family wrote on a piece of paper a goal for the year. The bigger the goal the better. My goal last year was simple, to get stronger so I can ride horses again.

Now I did get to ride a couple times last year for a short time. But the fear of the what if’s took over. Which is crazy as I didn’t get hurt on a horse. I got hurt in a truck. Crazy I know! I seen what it did to my husband and kids when I was not able to take care of myself, and I didn’t want it to happen again. So I became cautious.

With that means putting what I love in a drawer and locking it away. Not really on purpose but I just had something telling me not yet.

Maybe it was me listening to the doctor when he said he didn’t recommend me riding but if I did to wait at least a year. Maybe it was me fearing of what I would accomplish. Maybe it was a fear of what if I am unable to do what I love without hurting myself again.

So many things, yet my life was so hectic I never figured it out last year. During the New Year I did have a chance to reflect.

I know God was telling me not yet for a reason. I trust that he knows best and I should always follow when he tells me to do, or not to do something!

I realize that I am not afraid of horses or riding, I’m afraid getting on the horse and not being able to keep riding. Not of getting hurt, but me not being able to physically ride.

Yes I know it is a crazy thing to be scared of. I should be just thankful I am here, and I know I am blessed. Like everyone else, I have emotions too, and I’m human as well.

We put thoughts in our heads that sometimes keep us out of trouble, but sometimes they keep us from accomplishing great things.

I believe we are all here for a purpose and I know life is too short. So instead of all the what if’s, I am taking the next step.

The next step is actually getting back on a horse, not just for a few minutes. Then continuously riding all year. This is the only way I will know if I can do it still.

I still have back and hip pain, and never got my back fixed. So not 100% sure if my body will handle me riding like I used to. But if I don’t at least try, then I will be giving into what the devil wants. I will be giving into my fears, and for that I need to try!

Never Give up on what you love

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.” Psalm 138:3

This was when I was 7 months post op. I am now officially one year post op.

This is a long post.

I won’t lie, after you get hurt sometimes it is hard to get back on or do things you used to do again. Not because you are scared of riding again, but just scared of the unknown and if it will be okay, what the new normal will be, or if the surgery(surgeries) worked. I was nervous today.

But this is what I have been waiting on! I have not barrel raced since September 2016 and it’s been a LONG journey! I know I still have a long journey ahead. But things that are your dreams are worth the rough roads to get there.

My left hip did good, my other hip is a little sore, but with the surgery I compensated by putting more pressure on the right hip.

Sorry I cried, honestly didn’t think my husband was videotaping. But I do want to tell everyone that no matter what you are going through or faced with, if you want something bad enough, never give up! Life is too short to live with regrets. You should never say I can’t, and always say I will. If you are struggling, God will get you through it all. If it wasn’t for the good Lord, I would have gave up a long time ago. He gives me strength to keep going.

I’ve had setbacks, and breakdowns. I just don’t let myself stay there. So if you are going through a tough time, there is hope. You just have to have Faith! Don’t ever give up! If you want something bad enough you will get there if you keep moving forward. It may not be the way you want it to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you love. You will have setbacks. Just remember those setbacks teach you something and make you stronger! On your journey think of at least one positive in each situation. Remember God has a plan for each one of us and a destiny we could not even imagine. So stay strong and keep focused on what is important.

So for those that don’t know my story, I was in a car accident in 2016. I’m 7 months post op from hip surgery. I sold all my riding horses since the accident so I wouldn’t be tempted before I was able to again. But the doctor recently told me I can SLOWLY start easing into it as tolerated. I was on a horse a few weeks ago, for a few minutes, but really didn’t get to ride. So I took advantage at my moms house. This is the first time I got to actually ride since I sold my little yellow horse last year. (I rode him about 3-4 times for about 15 minutes after I had my injection just around the house.) Then I sold him so I wouldn’t ride and hurt myself before I was meant to ride. I told some it was because I needed a free runner, but really it was God knowing how long of a road I would be on. I prayed long and hard about that as it was a very hard decision. So I am now back to square one again, I still have pain, but not constant. I have flare ups and I’m not 100% but I’m working on it. Keep having faith!

#thinkpositive #nevergiveup #staystrong #Godwillprovide #rundevilrun #roadtorecovery #nomorecrutches #ridinghorses #faithoverfear #overcomer #winning #Godwillmovemountains #fearisaliar

Faith over Fear (Recovery)

When you get injured, no matter how big or small, it takes a toll on you. After you have been injured, even illness, your body/mind tends to try to protect itself. It definitely is not an easy task to overcome!

When we are young, we were fearless. Then as time goes by, we learn that things can cause pain and suffering.

After we injure ourselves, we either avoid doing it again, or take caution next time. During these times of trials is when we grow into the person we are meant to be.

Lamentations 3:29-30 “Being rubbed in the dirt can teach us a lesson. We can learn from insults and hard knocks.”

Being injured is definitely is a learning experience! When you get back in the saddle, fear can take over. It’s the devils way of trying to win, as he knows Gods plan for you is great.

Sometimes the fear is too overwhelming and we stop going after our dreams. Other times we doubt our ability. Either that or fear that family or friends have for you, let you decide your future.

When your support system sees you go through something traumatic they are scared for you and don’t want to see you hurt again. This can sometimes be harder to overcome then your own fears.

But you have to remember that no matter what happens, there was a reason. God is going to use you, grow you, and if you just trust in him it will get better. He will give you more than you can handle. But he won’t give you more than HE can carry you through. He knows what you need to get where you are meant to be. Sometimes it is not where we think we should be.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The hardest part about the struggles, is moving on. The fear of the past is always there to let us know that we are not invincible. Life is too short though to stop trying, or wait til later.

There is no better time then the present to work on your dreams! When you are faced with fear, speak in Jesus name! Start talking to God and just asking him to help getting rid of the fear.

Start living each day like it is your last. Would you want to leave this earth without even trying to accomplish your goals and dreams?

My church says, “Dream Big, Pray Hard, & Expect Supernatural Results”!

The road to recovery is truly a hard road. If you stay motivated and don’t focus on the negative and set backs, you will make it through!

“The road to recovery is like a road trip. It is going to be full of mountains, u-turns, curvy roads, breakdowns, & uncomfortable times. You may even have to stop and get directions. But if you never give up and keep going you will get where you are going!” Long Shot Cowgirl

Distracted Driving (Not for young kids)

You know it only takes 3 seconds to get into an accident. Most people can’t read a text in less than 5 seconds!

I used to be the type of person that thought I was in control, and I wouldn’t wreck if I drove distracted. I always thought if I slowed down or held my phone up, etc., I wouldn’t get in a wreck. But that is not the case in most instances. I have realized the risks are too high and quit doing it.

It doesn’t matter, whether you have been drinking, on some kind of drugs (including pot), changing the radio stations, or texting and driving! Any of these things distracts the driver from being responsible.

If you sit behind that wheel you are not only putting your life on the line, but those in your passenger seat or others you encounter. I wanted to share this in hopes that you will think twice before getting behind that wheel distracted.

Imagine driving down the road, your phone goes off. You are pretty confident in your ability to drive so instead of pulling over you look down. In that 5 seconds it took you to look down you crossed the center line. As soon as you look up it’s too late, there’s a loud crash! Glass flying everywhere then everything goes black. It feels like it last forever but has only lasted about 30-45 seconds.

When you wake up, the stench of airbags fill your vehicle. You look around and notice the other vehicle in the ditch upside down. You have blood running down your face and on your hands from glass. You manage to get out of the vehicle but can’t find your phone.

You head over to the other vehicle and no one is moving. It is a mother and child. Neither one of them answer, then after about 10 minutes you hear whimpering from the back seat. The child is awake but has severe injuries. They start crying and nothing you do helps. The mom still is not responding. A passerby already called 911 & you are shaking so bad due to adrenaline.

The emergency personnel arrives and they pronounce the mom and fly the child to the hospital. You get to walk away, but completely changed!

Because of your five second mistake, it cost the life of a mother, wife, daughter, sister, friend, and aunt. Her children will have to grow up without a mom. Her husband will have to raise their children by himself. The child will never walk without a limp and will have nightmares the rest of his life. The emergency personnel will have to live forever with the memory of what they had to come up on. All because of a text!

Now this didn’t happen but I have seen & know of many accidents that something similar happened. I know of many who have lost their loved ones or their own lives, have been lost, or forever changed due to distractions while driving.

I’ve seen a lady get hit by a car, horses running into a young person on a horse in a warm up pen, and a few other accidents from texting. I’ve lost friends because of distracted driving and driving under the influence. I’ve seen others who passed because someone was under the influence and didn’t see another vehicle.

You don’t want to be responsible for killing an innocent person and having that image in your mind for the rest of your life! Not only will you have to live with it, the emergency personnel and the other people involved will have to live with it as well.

You think it will not happen to you, but it can! It’s truly sad these accidents could be prevented! It starts with you.

This society makes it hard, as most people feel like they have to respond to text instantly. That’s not what text messages were made for.

If you are not strong enough to not text & drive, put your phone on silent & in the glove box while you are driving. Get a designated driver, put your phone down, It’s not worth the risk!

Hip Labral surgery what to expect

I already went over some things to buy, in another post, but there is so much more that went with this surgery.

It is a good idea to have something to keep you emotionally well. You are pretty much helpless for at least the first week and I needed help for awhile after that. There will be many ups & downs that you need to prepare for.

I am a very independent person so this played a toll on me as I was unable to do things I used to do. I went in thinking the surgery was going to be a breeze and I would be hunting within a month.

It was not the case. I was on crutches a little longer than I would like as they said my bones were really soft. I started therapy the next day, but if I could go back I would have asked for Home Health first before outpatient therapy.

It was a struggle to get to and from therapy and someone had to drive me. Home health would have been great for at least 2 weeks to get going before transferring to outpatient. I really didn’t need pain medication, at least at first. But I took them around the clock to make sure.

I didn’t have to take too many medications but they wanted me to take one for sure to prevent bone growth til a little while later.

I recommend a medication planner, or something to keep track of your medications on when you took them and what time. It was fuzzy to me so I had to write stuff down. I would forget if I took it and didn’t want to overdose.

My brain was so fuzzy for awhile and I forgot quickly! It was not a good thing and I worried I wouldn’t get better. I even had problems with my vision and had hallucinations. Now I know not everyone will have the same reaction to the anesthesia, but this is what I went through.

My husband helped me out a lot and I vented to him a lot. Normally I would go ride my horse, but since I could not, I had to find some way to not hold things in. I’m still recovering and mentally and physically.

I also took up journaling, although I was doing that before surgery for a bible study group. This helped when I was just so overwhelmed and wanted to be by myself. It gave me time to reflect.

So it does take awhile and there are ups and downs. Just what ever you do, don’t give up. I have been through a lot of hard times in this journey, but it is all in the baby steps.

I’m now 7 months post op (in a few day) and I still have flare ups, I’m not where I want to be, but I am getting there. I’m off crutches, my vision has returned, I’m not forgetting things like before, and I am still here!

No matter what your struggles are, we serve an amazing God who will get us through our tough times! It does help to talk about it & write it down. I still struggle on days and I’ve had some pain in my right hip since due to compensation as well as right knee. But overall I am slowly on the mend.

Just remember take care of yourself physically and mentally!

“But I will restore you to health and heal your wounds,’ declares the LORD” Jeremiah 30:17

I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Second week post op labral tear surgery

Well I can now get on and off the couch and the first part of week 2 I got in my bed and managed to sleep there. I had to take a pain killer as it hurt, when on the bed. But it was another step forward! I didn’t take any hydro-acet during the day, just at night

During the day I took the low dose aspirin still and Naproxen 2x a day to prevent bone ossification. My doctor was very adamant about taking the naproxen. To help with ulcer prevention, I also took medication to help that in the mornings.

I was awake enough to where I decided to work from home. It was not a lot of work, mainly computer work and talking on the phone at times. I didn’t really get off the couch much but did my “ankle pumps” and other exercises therapy recommended.

I noticed my ability to multi-task was non-existent and I forgot things easily. I had to do one thing at a time, which I am not used to. I also had to write stuff down to remind me to do something.

So I was scared that would continue and I would not get better. I was scared that I would be stuck being slow and could not do my job how it should be done.

My therapy went good this week, mainly just stretching exercises. I had a couple bad days but nothing to major. I was still on crutches and the brace. God was getting me through and giving me the strength I needed. I knew that this will pass and I was no longer impatient.

I have learned previously that no matter what, God will get me through threw bad times. I learned that we all have to go through trials to make us stronger. Each one of our journeys are different buy if we have Faith in God, our end result is the same. Yes I am ready to be free of this part of my life, but it is now part of me. I will keep on going.

Third week post op labral tear surgery

Monday I was not cleared to go back to work so just went to therapy and worked from home. I didn’t feel too bad, just sore and muscles tight.

Tuesday my husband drove me up the doctor, and I had a couple xrays. Everything looked good, and he said I could take off my brace and crutches next week. He also cleared me to drive as long as I felt okay. I was happy, and decided since I had my husband with me, I would try to drive, and if it didn’t work out then he could take over. Well when I was at the truck I was up on the curb, and I had my front door open. When I tried to get off the curb I lost my balance. I started to put pressure on my left leg, so I leaned forward and didn’t

catch myself. I ended up faceplanting into the truck. I caught my face on the steering wheel, but I didn’t hurt my hip thankfully. I went home and iced it.

Wednesday I went back to work, which that was a long day and definitely was sore that night. I was still on crutches and my brace so my muscles were pretty tight.

Thursday went to therapy and didn’t do too much as I was pretty sore from the day before. I started walking with my crutches as the doctor gave me 50% weight bearing status. I was slow and used the crutches but it made me feel like there was hope. When I got home I iced it. I still had a low grade fever and wasn’t able to multi-task.

First week post op labral tear surgery

The first 3 days was rather a blur. Had surgery on Monday, Tuesday I pretty much slept all day. Wednesday and Thursday I slept a lot as well and don’t remember much.

I couldn’t lift my leg, as the muscles didn’t want to work. I had to have help putting my leg up on the couch. I also had to have my husband help me off the couch and lift me up. As I had no strength in my leg and was just weak overall.

On the night of surgery I ate soup so it was easy on my stomach. The next few nights were a blur. I really only took 2 hydro-acet. Next day after surgery, one tablet a day for the following few days.

I went the day after surgery to physical therapy, which I was still out of it. My husband actually had to answer most all the questions. They really didn’t do too much. I was told due I was to be 25% weight bearing. They gave me some excercises to help keep muscles from declining worse.

I also had problems with my vision, afterwards for a 3-4 days. I had to take off my glasses to read close up, or it would be blurry. I could see far away, just not close up. I had to go without glasses and that was annoying. It slowly got better, although still had relapses after those dew days.

That Thursday I also went to therapy and I was a little more awake but I was pretty sore after. I wasnt able to do much due to tje weight bearing status.

Friday I was finally awake some, and with the little excercises, from therapy, I was able to get up off my couch with the help of my crutches. Now I still could not fully dress myself, but at least I wasn’t stuck on the couch. I still couldn’t get on my bed but, I knew in time things would get better.

Labral Tear Surgery

Hopefully this will help someone prepare for their journey. It is not an easy one.

Since I already had the crutches, we put them in the truck for afterwards. I was not able to eat or drink, so got up and took off my wedding rings and put them in a safe spot at the house. I figured it would be safer than the hospital, so only took what I wore that day.

I wore baggy clothes that I actually went out and bought before so it was easy to slip on after surgery. I made sure I took my glasses instead of wearing contacts. I forgot to pack pillows and blankets but I had a coat.

We had to be there at 8:30 in the morning and was took back to a room that was Private, which was nice. My husband was able to stay in that room and not have to wait in the waiting area.

After getting into the special gown I had to do that normal pee in a cup. They also put the IV in with one stick which was amazing in itself. They drew blood as well and went over medications and other things what to expect. The surgeon came in and marked my hip and told us a few exercises to do everyday and headed to get ready.

After that the nurse was rushing and everybody was getting me ready as the surgeon was ready to go.

After they got everything ready for me to go I gave my husband a kiss and then we headed out. The anesthesiologist was in the room and he gave me versed which his exact words were, “the I don’t care medicine”. Which I am familiar with and I did not make it even out of the room before I either went out or I just forgot.

Next thing I remember is being groggy and cold but they had a blower underneath the blankets to keep me warm and the nurse was right beside me. It was a post-op recovery room, which reminded me of an ER set up.

At one point my Dr came in to see me in the recovery room as I was having some problems with my blood pressure and oxygen. My oxygen level was low so I was put on 2 liters. I remember them bumping me up afterwards to 3 when the doctor was there to get my oxygen back up. My blood pressure was very low as well and they said it got up to 88 over 40 something when my doctor was there. I do remember at one point the nurse told me I could go back to the room when they get my vitals a little bit better.

The next thing I remember is waking up again and my husband was in the room as they had transferred me into the private room where he had been waiting.

Surgery lasted about 3 hours and recovery took a little bit longer than expected. The surgeon said he normally has to tap the anchors in place but he easily pushed mine in. He said I had some cartlidge damage, and was concerned regarding the softness of my bones. So instead of being 50% I was 25% weight bearing.

We stayed there for a little bit longer and everything was a little fuzzy so I’m not sure really what went on after that.

I do know that two of the nurses helped get me dressed while my husband went and got my truck. They first helped me to the bathroom and I do remember them saying that I actually was doing better than what they expected me to do as I walked with assistance to the bathroom. I used them as crutches.

When I got dressed they just slipped my sweatpants over my brace so if I needed to go to the bathroom I wouldn’t have to take off the brace for that day. They took me out in a wheelchair and it was a struggle to get my leg up as I couldn’t lift it.

I don’t remember any conversations on the way home. But it usually takes about an hour and a half to get home. When I got home I used the crutches and got in the house and laid on the couch.

My husband had to help me get on and off the couch because I could not lift that leg at all and I couldn’t get up without him picking me up. I had a pillow for my head and two pillows for my legs, an ice pack, and of course a blanket. I took the hydro-acet like instructed that night but didn’t take the Valium.

Shopping list for Labral Tear Surgery

First off, I want to say everyone is different and so you can tweak what you want but at least this list will get you started. Now if possible, I recommend a month worth of supplies, but I only bought 2 weeks worth. But I have been on crutches before so going to the store didn’t scare me.

• Crutches-if they do not supply them

• Shower chair- You can’t shower for 3-4 days but a chair sure helps If your tub is too high a shower chair with a transfer bench.

• Ice packs-I didn’t get an ice machine, although I wish I would have. But I had plenty of ice packs.

• Cooler-keep your drink cool and you don’t have to get up as much the first week. Plus you can set things on it. I keep it by the couch.

•Trash can right beside you. In case of nausea or trash.

• Grabber- This is for you to help pull pants up, get things, etc. They have a device where it helps put your socks on too.

• Something easy to eat first couple days, especially if you are nauseous. Example: chicken noodle soup.

• Healthy snacks-lots of protein

• Food for at least 2-3 weeks, easy to make food, or pre-make your food for crockpot dinners.

• Drinks, 7up, Sprite, Sierra Mist, juice, anything healthy, breakfast shakes, etc.

• If you have animals, food for them if they will need it. So you are not lifting right after surgery

• Pillows if you don’t have more than one already. I had 3.

• Toilet seat riser- although I didn’t get this, it does make it easier.

•Journal to write in, books to read, movies to watch, games to play! Something to keep you busy as you are not too mobile.

•Comfortable stretchy clothes. First few days I would wear something baggy enough to fit over your brace.

•Slip on shoes, if you don’t have someone to help you.

Afterwards just go do something before surgery, Get outside, enjoy the sun if possible, or take whoever will be helping you out.

Pre labral tear surgery

So we made an appointment with the surgeon and set a date for November 13th, 2017. I informed my boss and everyone else.

During the next couple weeks there was a lot going through my head.

Whether I was making the correct decision, or was it going to be a mistake. What would happen if something went wrong and I couldn’t walk again, was on crutches or wheelchair for the rest of my life? Or ultimately, what if I didn’t make it out of surgery?

I kept these feelings to myself, as I didn’t want anyone to worry. So I did what I always do in those times, prayed.

I prayed a lot, for not only just the surgery itself, but everyone else. It helped calm me and I realized I would be fine. I knew I was supposed to have surgery or God would have healed it completely before. I tried for a year to get things to quit hurting so I wouldn’t have to. But I learned to trust God as his plans are greater than mine!

The week before the surgery my family and I deep cleaned the whole house, did all the laundry, went shopping for food, and spent some time together.

Which I recommend anyone who has this surgery, if you can, to deep clean your house and go shopping prior.

I will go over a shopping list recommended next time.

Hunting Season 2017

This year when I was climbing the ladder stands my pain got really bad. I knew I couldn’t use a climber because raising it up uses my hips so I only used ladder stands. This also happened to be the time that the injection was wearing of and more things started irritating it. I couldn’t drive to work half way before it was uncomfortable again. Thankfully I had heated seats in my truck.

So my husband and I decided to go ahead and have me do the surgery. I knew it would be a hard journey but never knew how hard it would be.

I still continued to hunt, as that is meat in our freezer. I endured the pain everyday, although it would have hurt even if I didn’t hunt.

After I shot my buck I decided to wait until after surgery to continue to hunt. My surgery was set for a week before Thanksgiving so I thought I would have plenty of time afterwards. Boy was I wrong!

Hip injection and Summer Time

I had my hip injected to see how long that would last as I was completing physical therapy and only other option was surgery. Which surgeon wanted to get me stronger and I was against surgery.

The injection hurt when they did it, and they used an ultrasound machine to guide the needle. They used a long needle and the pain was burning as the needle went through my muscles into my hip. Granted they also used lidocaine but it didn’t help deep down. Honestly that was the most painful experience I had with any needle, ever!

Afterwards it gave me instant relief, and for the first time the drive home was painfree! Normally I could not drive about 20-30 minutes before it hurt.

I was also cleared to do whatever as tolerated to see if I could handle it. So the first thing I thought of was riding horses.

I could not ride the first 2 days as it was raining and I needed to work my horse some. I was going to send him out but I couldn’t wait that long. I got on him in the round pen after lunging him a few minutes. To those who don’t ride are probably thinking, BAD idea!

He took care of me and did everything I asked. I buried my head onto his neck. I will be honest, I cried.

I cried because on the back of a horse, I feel close to God, and free. All my problems go away and my day becomes brighter! I cried because I finally seen light at the end of the tunnel and it gave me a newfound hope!

I knew I couldn’t barrel race but still rode him at a walk and sometimes for a brief trot. I did try a lope a couple times but that increased the pain I had.

I took him to a local playdays to ride in the arena around other people, and planned on just taking it slow around the patterns. But I ended up loading him in the trailer and going home. My discomfort level and fear of hurting myself worse took over. So I only rode my horse a handful of times.

Within 5 months the injection wore off. I was able to walk but I tried slowly to run. I finally made it a mile but then was so stoved up the next day it wasn’t worth it. We went to Branson on a family trip during the summer. Standing or walking around on concrete in Branson was awful but didn’t want to ruin it for the kids. It was their first trip to Branson.

Even with the increase of pain, I was still managing to walk a mile every day because it would make my back feel better if I did.

I came to the determination that I would just suck it up and live with the pain.

That was until hunting season came around again.