I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Life as a barrel horse!

Imagine your life as a barrel race and not just any barrel race imagine your life as the horse in the race.

There are many kinds of horses, just like there are many kinds of people.

Horses range from very tall to really short, there is no perfect sized barrel horse!

Some of us fight the bit, we want to be in control, we don’t trust anybody to take over our life.

There are others that are more willing to trust. It doesn’t matter what kind of horse, or who we are, we are all set for the same goal in mind.

We have many trials we face that may turn us in different directions. We may stumble, we may throw a fit. In the end our main goal should be to get through those turns and make it home to the good Lord!

So remember, no matter what type of horse you are, let Jesus guide your reins. You may stumble because you take a wrong step, but he will help guide you through your journey of life!

Hip injection and Summer Time

I had my hip injected to see how long that would last as I was completing physical therapy and only other option was surgery. Which surgeon wanted to get me stronger and I was against surgery.

The injection hurt when they did it, and they used an ultrasound machine to guide the needle. They used a long needle and the pain was burning as the needle went through my muscles into my hip. Granted they also used lidocaine but it didn’t help deep down. Honestly that was the most painful experience I had with any needle, ever!

Afterwards it gave me instant relief, and for the first time the drive home was painfree! Normally I could not drive about 20-30 minutes before it hurt.

I was also cleared to do whatever as tolerated to see if I could handle it. So the first thing I thought of was riding horses.

I could not ride the first 2 days as it was raining and I needed to work my horse some. I was going to send him out but I couldn’t wait that long. I got on him in the round pen after lunging him a few minutes. To those who don’t ride are probably thinking, BAD idea!

He took care of me and did everything I asked. I buried my head onto his neck. I will be honest, I cried.

I cried because on the back of a horse, I feel close to God, and free. All my problems go away and my day becomes brighter! I cried because I finally seen light at the end of the tunnel and it gave me a newfound hope!

I knew I couldn’t barrel race but still rode him at a walk and sometimes for a brief trot. I did try a lope a couple times but that increased the pain I had.

I took him to a local playdays to ride in the arena around other people, and planned on just taking it slow around the patterns. But I ended up loading him in the trailer and going home. My discomfort level and fear of hurting myself worse took over. So I only rode my horse a handful of times.

Within 5 months the injection wore off. I was able to walk but I tried slowly to run. I finally made it a mile but then was so stoved up the next day it wasn’t worth it. We went to Branson on a family trip during the summer. Standing or walking around on concrete in Branson was awful but didn’t want to ruin it for the kids. It was their first trip to Branson.

Even with the increase of pain, I was still managing to walk a mile every day because it would make my back feel better if I did.

I came to the determination that I would just suck it up and live with the pain.

That was until hunting season came around again.

Life on crutches part one

The first part of the struggles with being on crutches was gaining strength. Trying to walk very far took a lot out of me. It was also a challenge getting up and down stairs, in and out of stores, and just doing regular tasks.

I was blessed having horses so my upper body strength wasn’t too bad, but some muscles you just don’t use.

In the beginning, I had someone carry everything for me, from food to laptop for work. It was December 1 when I was put on crutches so of course, I couldn’t help decorate for Christmas.

Having to sit around while other people took care of my animals, decorated for Christmas, and did things for me I was unable to do at the time, bothered me. I had a some pity parties, got frustrated, cried, and withdrew at times.

My hunting season was not great either as I didn’t get to hunt much. So not being able to help provide meat in the freezer was a downfall as well.

I wanted so much to just go about my life with no worries, but there I was limited. I started thinking of all the things I couldn’t do, and what I was missing out on. I just felt helpless.

I couldn’t jump on the trampoline, couldn’t walk my horse, couldn’t go to BBR

Finals although I qualified. I was upset because I had a chance to be top 10 in my horses division, but due to the wreck I had to stop riding horses until I was cleared. I started getting grumpy and withdrew.

Then of course my husband stepped in and he allowed me to have a breakdown, pity party, or whatever you want to call it. I cried and afterwards I felt so much better. I then turned to God for answers and realized that although my current situation was tough, it was not who I was, I am no quitter.

I am really good at talking with God when things are going good, but I have struggled with getting closer to him when I struggle.

I started thinking of all the positives, and found a way to carry my computer for work. I didn’t give up and got my horse to lead him with my crutches. I figured out solutions to a my problems that I could address.

I had my kids take turns going to the store with me so I could shop instead of my husband, unless it required heavy lifting.

I spent time with my horse just brushing him while on crutches. My barrel horse was in the barn, so I had to have someone catch him and turn him loose in the pasture for a little bit then put him back up. I tried leading him with the crutches but I would hit his leg and it wouldn’t work out. I never gave up though and kept trying! One day we both figured out how to manage with me on crutches. That was a “winning” situation, and I felt so independent and happy!

I wrote in a journal to release some frustrations and challenges.

I learned how to carry plates, and drinks with my crutches and managed to get in and out of the shower by myself.

Now it was hard when I got my letter for BBR finals and had to just throw it away. But I prayed about it and came to the conclusion there was a reason for me not going.

Well during the BBR they had a bad storm and they didn’t get to perform all days and some trailers were tipped over. So God protected me from that.

God has showed me different things along the way. I read the whole bible front to back then started picking it apart to really understand it. This helped me out and the books of Job and Esther stuck out to me.

Esther was born to do something great, although she was scared and didn’ know how.

Job had so much faith, even after loosing everything. He never gave up!

They both were rewarded for the love they shared for God and doing what was right, even when it was hard.

I missed out a lot with my girls, husband, and horses. But I did grow. I grew spiritually and physically.

Through physical therapy I gained strength and different excercises to keep my strength and get stronger than before.

Spiritually I grew closer to God, and opened my eyes. I learned patience, perseverance, hope, and faith the hard way. I learned that no matter what God is close to the broken hearted and he does provide. Although I already knew it, he reinforced it.

I made it through, and after months of being non weight bearing my fracture started to heal.

I was able to get off crutches and had an injection in my hip. The doctor wanted me to continue excercising and gaining strength so when or if I need surgery, I will be strong enough. He said recovery would be easier that way. It was kind of a relief I would be off crutches for summer.

Thanksgiving trip ending in Pain & bad news!

With the kids it usually takes about 18 to 19 hour driving to get to where I used to live. That is trying to not take many stops except to fuel up and eat at least once.

Normally I am ready to go when we get there, except a little tired.

When we arrived I was pretty stoved up but the day after was the worst.

I had a horrible time trying to walk and it was then that I realized for definite that I had a bigger problem than just a pulled groin muscle.

I couldn’t stand up straight and the pain was awful when walking. I usually ride horses with my mom but that was out! It got better over the next few days after rest, but put a damper on my vacation.

I contacted the doctor via an app on my phone and he called me later stating that he was referring me to a specialist in Springfield. He said that he just got results back from MRI and it was a problem in the hips. Since he did not do hips, he would not be able to help. He did say there was for sure a tear and when I came back home to take it easy.

I was a good girl and stayed off my mom’s horses. We did not do some things we normally do because of myself so I felt bad. We even left a day early so we could take it nice and slow going home which helped some.

I went to the specialist in Springfield when I went home, and he could tell because it was more comfortable for me to stand crooked, versus sitting on anything.

The Specialist informed me that I not only had two tears, one anterior and one posterior, I also had a stress fracture on my hip. He put me on crutches and informed me that I would have to be non-weight-bearing on that side until the fracture healed.

The doctor stated he would be unable to fix the tears until the fracture healed because if he tried he would literally break me in half. Those were his exact words so I chose to be good and do what he asked.

I stayed off horses and remained on crutches for close to six months. I went through therapy two to three times a week and juggled working, and family life.

I was just grateful that I could still drive. It was very hard and trying times as I am very independent. But I knew God would get me through this trial, as he always does.