Troubled Times

When we go through troubled times, we need to remember that evil will not win! If we turn to God, he will protect us and carry us through deep water as our enemies can’t swim!

Sometimes we wonder why would God do this to me or make me suffer. Why would God let an innocent person or child pass away. We often hear the answer is, “God will only give you what you can handle.”

I’m hear to tell you that is not the case! Not ALL trials are from God. The devil will try anything to get you to lose faith including making the wrong path seem like an easier road to travel.

God lets us make our own choices, although he already knows the plans for us. Some of the troubles are from choices he tried to get us to not do. You know that little voice in your head saying, “Do not do, or say that!” That’s God trying to protect us.

Now if we refuse to listen, Gods love is so big, that he will still love us through our tough times. When we are weak, he will carry us. When we hurt, he will heal us. He is more powerful than the devil ever will be.

The devil will try to push you over the edge, he will try to break you down. He puts fear and doubts in your mind. He is afraid of what God has in store for each one of us!

Sometimes the biggest battles go to the biggest warriors for God. Not because God wants to punish them, but he knows the blessings will be so huge and the devil is terrified! At times I feel like this is why some leave this earth to early.

God knows that the people that leave this earth too early, in our eyes, have been a blessing to so many others.

They are in heaven where the Devil can’t hurt them, where they have no pain, no sorrow. They are where the devil can’t push them over the edge.

Whose to say, God took them from this earth, to protect them. God knew something we did not, he also knew the future of the mourning will be tough. What we don’t know is the plan.

We just have to trust him that the reasonings are so much greater than the sorrows we may currently face. God is smarter than any of us, so we should not question why. I know it is hard at times.

But he will provide for us, watch over us, and help heal the hurting. God will never leave us through troubled times.

Just like the footprints in the sand, when there was 2 sets. When trouble hit, it went down to one set of prints. That was because God was carrying you through the trials!

So I know times will get tough, and you will want to give up. You want to lash out, hate God & everyone else, I completely understand. No amount of words will make trying times better. I just want you to know that you do have a future.

It does get better, not easier, but better. You will adapt, have a new normal, and survive. It may be the hardest thing you ever face, or preparing you for it.

One thing remains the same, no matter WHAT you are faced with, YOU have the power to overcome it. You can beat the odds and make the devil run. Remember Fear IS a liar, & YOU are good enough. The person you lost, you will see again, and the people they are helping now, through you, will never forget it.

Stay true to yourself, never give up, always have faith, and remember God IS greater than the devil will EVER be!

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalms 9:9

Faith over Fear (Recovery)

When you get injured, no matter how big or small, it takes a toll on you. After you have been injured, even illness, your body/mind tends to try to protect itself. It definitely is not an easy task to overcome!

When we are young, we were fearless. Then as time goes by, we learn that things can cause pain and suffering.

After we injure ourselves, we either avoid doing it again, or take caution next time. During these times of trials is when we grow into the person we are meant to be.

Lamentations 3:29-30 “Being rubbed in the dirt can teach us a lesson. We can learn from insults and hard knocks.”

Being injured is definitely is a learning experience! When you get back in the saddle, fear can take over. It’s the devils way of trying to win, as he knows Gods plan for you is great.

Sometimes the fear is too overwhelming and we stop going after our dreams. Other times we doubt our ability. Either that or fear that family or friends have for you, let you decide your future.

When your support system sees you go through something traumatic they are scared for you and don’t want to see you hurt again. This can sometimes be harder to overcome then your own fears.

But you have to remember that no matter what happens, there was a reason. God is going to use you, grow you, and if you just trust in him it will get better. He will give you more than you can handle. But he won’t give you more than HE can carry you through. He knows what you need to get where you are meant to be. Sometimes it is not where we think we should be.

Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.

The hardest part about the struggles, is moving on. The fear of the past is always there to let us know that we are not invincible. Life is too short though to stop trying, or wait til later.

There is no better time then the present to work on your dreams! When you are faced with fear, speak in Jesus name! Start talking to God and just asking him to help getting rid of the fear.

Start living each day like it is your last. Would you want to leave this earth without even trying to accomplish your goals and dreams?

My church says, “Dream Big, Pray Hard, & Expect Supernatural Results”!

The road to recovery is truly a hard road. If you stay motivated and don’t focus on the negative and set backs, you will make it through!

“The road to recovery is like a road trip. It is going to be full of mountains, u-turns, curvy roads, breakdowns, & uncomfortable times. You may even have to stop and get directions. But if you never give up and keep going you will get where you are going!” Long Shot Cowgirl

I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Second week post op labral tear surgery

Well I can now get on and off the couch and the first part of week 2 I got in my bed and managed to sleep there. I had to take a pain killer as it hurt, when on the bed. But it was another step forward! I didn’t take any hydro-acet during the day, just at night

During the day I took the low dose aspirin still and Naproxen 2x a day to prevent bone ossification. My doctor was very adamant about taking the naproxen. To help with ulcer prevention, I also took medication to help that in the mornings.

I was awake enough to where I decided to work from home. It was not a lot of work, mainly computer work and talking on the phone at times. I didn’t really get off the couch much but did my “ankle pumps” and other exercises therapy recommended.

I noticed my ability to multi-task was non-existent and I forgot things easily. I had to do one thing at a time, which I am not used to. I also had to write stuff down to remind me to do something.

So I was scared that would continue and I would not get better. I was scared that I would be stuck being slow and could not do my job how it should be done.

My therapy went good this week, mainly just stretching exercises. I had a couple bad days but nothing to major. I was still on crutches and the brace. God was getting me through and giving me the strength I needed. I knew that this will pass and I was no longer impatient.

I have learned previously that no matter what, God will get me through threw bad times. I learned that we all have to go through trials to make us stronger. Each one of our journeys are different buy if we have Faith in God, our end result is the same. Yes I am ready to be free of this part of my life, but it is now part of me. I will keep on going.

Third week post op labral tear surgery

Monday I was not cleared to go back to work so just went to therapy and worked from home. I didn’t feel too bad, just sore and muscles tight.

Tuesday my husband drove me up the doctor, and I had a couple xrays. Everything looked good, and he said I could take off my brace and crutches next week. He also cleared me to drive as long as I felt okay. I was happy, and decided since I had my husband with me, I would try to drive, and if it didn’t work out then he could take over. Well when I was at the truck I was up on the curb, and I had my front door open. When I tried to get off the curb I lost my balance. I started to put pressure on my left leg, so I leaned forward and didn’t

catch myself. I ended up faceplanting into the truck. I caught my face on the steering wheel, but I didn’t hurt my hip thankfully. I went home and iced it.

Wednesday I went back to work, which that was a long day and definitely was sore that night. I was still on crutches and my brace so my muscles were pretty tight.

Thursday went to therapy and didn’t do too much as I was pretty sore from the day before. I started walking with my crutches as the doctor gave me 50% weight bearing status. I was slow and used the crutches but it made me feel like there was hope. When I got home I iced it. I still had a low grade fever and wasn’t able to multi-task.

Life on crutches part one

The first part of the struggles with being on crutches was gaining strength. Trying to walk very far took a lot out of me. It was also a challenge getting up and down stairs, in and out of stores, and just doing regular tasks.

I was blessed having horses so my upper body strength wasn’t too bad, but some muscles you just don’t use.

In the beginning, I had someone carry everything for me, from food to laptop for work. It was December 1 when I was put on crutches so of course, I couldn’t help decorate for Christmas.

Having to sit around while other people took care of my animals, decorated for Christmas, and did things for me I was unable to do at the time, bothered me. I had a some pity parties, got frustrated, cried, and withdrew at times.

My hunting season was not great either as I didn’t get to hunt much. So not being able to help provide meat in the freezer was a downfall as well.

I wanted so much to just go about my life with no worries, but there I was limited. I started thinking of all the things I couldn’t do, and what I was missing out on. I just felt helpless.

I couldn’t jump on the trampoline, couldn’t walk my horse, couldn’t go to BBR

Finals although I qualified. I was upset because I had a chance to be top 10 in my horses division, but due to the wreck I had to stop riding horses until I was cleared. I started getting grumpy and withdrew.

Then of course my husband stepped in and he allowed me to have a breakdown, pity party, or whatever you want to call it. I cried and afterwards I felt so much better. I then turned to God for answers and realized that although my current situation was tough, it was not who I was, I am no quitter.

I am really good at talking with God when things are going good, but I have struggled with getting closer to him when I struggle.

I started thinking of all the positives, and found a way to carry my computer for work. I didn’t give up and got my horse to lead him with my crutches. I figured out solutions to a my problems that I could address.

I had my kids take turns going to the store with me so I could shop instead of my husband, unless it required heavy lifting.

I spent time with my horse just brushing him while on crutches. My barrel horse was in the barn, so I had to have someone catch him and turn him loose in the pasture for a little bit then put him back up. I tried leading him with the crutches but I would hit his leg and it wouldn’t work out. I never gave up though and kept trying! One day we both figured out how to manage with me on crutches. That was a “winning” situation, and I felt so independent and happy!

I wrote in a journal to release some frustrations and challenges.

I learned how to carry plates, and drinks with my crutches and managed to get in and out of the shower by myself.

Now it was hard when I got my letter for BBR finals and had to just throw it away. But I prayed about it and came to the conclusion there was a reason for me not going.

Well during the BBR they had a bad storm and they didn’t get to perform all days and some trailers were tipped over. So God protected me from that.

God has showed me different things along the way. I read the whole bible front to back then started picking it apart to really understand it. This helped me out and the books of Job and Esther stuck out to me.

Esther was born to do something great, although she was scared and didn’ know how.

Job had so much faith, even after loosing everything. He never gave up!

They both were rewarded for the love they shared for God and doing what was right, even when it was hard.

I missed out a lot with my girls, husband, and horses. But I did grow. I grew spiritually and physically.

Through physical therapy I gained strength and different excercises to keep my strength and get stronger than before.

Spiritually I grew closer to God, and opened my eyes. I learned patience, perseverance, hope, and faith the hard way. I learned that no matter what God is close to the broken hearted and he does provide. Although I already knew it, he reinforced it.

I made it through, and after months of being non weight bearing my fracture started to heal.

I was able to get off crutches and had an injection in my hip. The doctor wanted me to continue excercising and gaining strength so when or if I need surgery, I will be strong enough. He said recovery would be easier that way. It was kind of a relief I would be off crutches for summer.