Letting fear control you!

Facing fear is truly scary but the reward to overcoming fear is much greater!

I’m probably not the first to tell you how hard it is to overcome your fear. The biggest struggle for anyone is the mental game.

Facing fear is truly scary but the reward to overcoming fear is much greater!

With my wreck getting back to riding horses has been a challenge. So many emotions going through my head: fear of winning, fear of failure, fear of injuries to my hip again, fear of driving. All have their own reasonings but still too much fear can cripple your dreams!

Yes I put fear of winning- sometimes when people win it changes them. They lose sight on their journey and who they are as a person, it becomes about the glory. I am a very humble person and I dont ever want to lose where I came from. I don’t want to lose the precious moments with my kids and husband.

Fear of failure is a huge one for a lot of people and honestly not high on my list. But my reason is I don’t want to let my family down if I don’t win. I do want them to be proud of me and let my kids know it’s okay to dream big! If I take a leap of faith and just focus on one thing and it doesn’t work, I don’t want my family to suffer for it.

Same goes for fear of re-injury. That surgery was brutal & if I get hurt again that would mean another surgery. I don’t know if I really want to put my family through that again. So I have become overly cautious and with that I have lost some of my confidence.

The fear of driving is simple- I was injured driving so this is my greatest fear. If I get to riding good I will have to go places with my horse. Then I would be responsible for his life as well when driving and that is scary! I know it seems so easy and some will think it’s crazy. But this is my biggest hold up is the driving.

Now how must one overcome your fears you may ask? Baby steps- one step at a time and always keep moving forward! Figure out what you are fearful of and conquer your fear!

What are you afraid of? Start out small, for example loping a horse. Go in a small pen, after you are comfortable walking trot a few strides then return to walking. Do this til you are comfortable and extend the trotting time each time til you are trotting circles confident and comfortable. Then do the same for loping. This method can be used for anything.

See the biggest thing about fear is it is a liar! It tries to keep you from attaining your dreams and goals. Every small step is honestly a giant leap!

The devil will try to tell you that you can’t but God will give you the power to prove you can! When you are about to do something scary and those voices are telling you to be afraid and you can’t do it- Don’t Listen! Tell those doubting voices that your God is greater- your passion is greater- your purpose is greater!

You can overcome fear- you can accomplish your dreams!

“I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me.”  Philippians 4:13

No matter what we face in life, are struggles are no less important than others. It’s our attitude and actions that truly mean something.

When we get sucked into the judgement of ourselves and others, you will never reach the top. I love this quote:

Put yourself in their shoes but don’t live in them.” Author Unknown

Try to putting yourself in others shoes. As we all struggle with our own battles, health, mental, or maybe financial. Our obstacles that seem like mountains, may be hills to others. But it doesn’t make them any less treacherous.

If someone is rude, that doesn’t make them a bad person. They may have hit their limit on trials and need some positivity.

The impatient mom you see at the grocery store with the kid in the cart, she tried to plan her trip before her kid gets grumpy from needed a nap. she is also running off less than two hours of sleep as her child is teething. She doesn’t get much help from the father either.

The person whose lights are flashing and right at your tailgate to pass you then speed by, may have got a call from the hospital their loved one took a turn for the worst. They are just trying to get there to say goodbye.

The tractor driver in front of you when you are in a hurry, is not wanting to hold you up. They are just trying to get work done to provide for their family and livestock before the weather turns bad.

The person who parks in the handicap spot and doesn’t have any noticeable disabilities; was in a car wreck and messed up their lower back to where it is extremely painful to walk. But there are tired of having to depend on others.

The person driving a brand new truck and trailer, you assume their life is so easy. Yet they put in a lot of time at work, sacrificing time with family, & friends. Or maybe they were in a car wreck and after paying off the hospital bills, decided to do something nice for their family to put up with them during their suffering. They still have struggles as well and are humans too.

See most of our trials are not visible to others. Think about yours? So if we judge people just by the way they look, what they drive, or how they act really doesn’t do anyone justice.

The second part, don’t live in their shoes! Too many people now days want to judge others by their accomplishments, looks, or material things. When they should be focusing on how to better themselves, and help others.

You see if you try to live in someone else’s shoes, you will never find your true purpose.

I thought I always had to win championships and be at the top in order for people to hear what I have to say when it comes to how God has helped me. I love God and what he has done for me and still does for me.

But what is not was not what God wanted. He stopped me in my tracks and showed me so many other things.

I now have seen all sides, from being a nurse for the dying and living; mother, wife, leader, worker, patient. I have faced and still facing the road to recovery from injury, chronic pain, depression at times, other health issues, kids health issues, and financial issues. But God has never once gave up on me! He won’t give up on you either!

He showed me no matter WHO you are or what you have done, your testimony matters. We are each called for a purpose in this life and the only way to achieve that is by moving forward and letting go.

Let go of the negativity towards others. If someone is rude or having a rough time pray for them. You don’t have to physically go up to the person but sometimes that can open doors you wouldn’t dream of.

See I know God loves me. He has spared my life more than I can count. He’s taught me patience, compassion, honesty, & integrity.

I am still human and make mistakes. But I try to see the good in people and focus on the positive. I still don’t know where I am going in life, but I do know, I am right where I am supposed to be at today.

So instead of being another problem, be a solution. Be an example to others by not judging! Try to see things from their perspective.

You know the saying the grass always looks greener on the other side? Well sometimes it may look that way but honestly it’s the same grass you have, they just handle things a little different.

Such a Time as This

This a tribute to an amazing person who is now in heaven rejoicing and singing praises. We lost a truly amazing person May 3, 2019. She was a warrior, child of Christ, mother, fighter, and so much more!

She was the kind of person that Even though she went through a major fight with cancer and the devil; she never complained. She always had a beautiful smile on her face and put others first. She always took the time to help others in need.

There were times when quitting seemed easier with some of the things I went through but she inspired me, along with many others, to be a better person & always keep going. She had a heart of gold. I just can not say enough good about her.

I struggled a few times and she always knew what to say. Some of her key phrases I remember her telling me is:

Winning: If you are out there trying you may not win the gold buckle but you will be winning. Never giving up will pay off if you keep trying. Winning is not letting the devil take your faith away! Winning is overcoming fear and conquering your demons. Winning is the baby steps you take on your way to greatness.

I was struggling with things after my wreck and not riding horses yet; and at the time she wasn’t riding horses either. She sent me this message and it gave me hope. She never waivered in her faith and was truly inspirational!

The last thing I got was a text from her, as even in her toughest times she still sent out a positive texts on Fridays.

“If you don’t value yourself, don’t expect anyone else to value you. Be the best you God intended you to be and not who the devil hoped you were.” Rpotter

She loved helping others and loved showing what Faith can do. I know many people said at her celebration of life, how she didn’t want anyone to know how sick she truly was. She did it because she didn’t want anyone to lose faith.

I was struggling with sleep and kept having nightmares for almost a month. Then one night, I had a dream with her in it. I sent this to her the next day but never got to tell her the details of the Dream.

“I had a dream about you last night. It was strange. You were at my house and we were talking about life and God. It was actually a very peaceful dream. Which I haven’t been having lately. I really can’t describe it. ”

See in this dream it felt so real, like she was right there. We talked about our kids, husbands, and everything else good going on with our lives. We talked about how God puts people in our lives for certain times, just like Esther. We talked how he protects us and in the end we will be surrounded by a peaceful fog with a huge glorious light shining through from above and we would be lifted up by the hand of God to the golden gates of Heaven.

This dream brought me so much peace and not even sure how it came about.

I will never be able to thank her enough or her family enough for supporting her while she followed Gods dreams for her. She was an amazing person and I just hope I’m at least 1/2 that good of a person. I’ll miss her Sunday morning services before barrel racing, her mentorship, her positive texts, her unbelievable prayers, her faith, her compassion, and most of all her heart. She absolutely loved her family and was so proud of them. Never once did I hear her say anything negative. She will truly be missed but I know I will see her again.

So in honor of her, think positive, be positive, show others positivity; but most of all HAVE FAITH and NEVER GIVE UP! Your problems are all in God’s hands so give it to him and focus on what God wants you to do with your life. As Roxy would say the battle was already won, you just focus on God and doing the right thing and let God handle your problems. Because YOU, YES You, were made for such a time as this!

Four wheeling-Get out of life’s ruts!

We have the power to control our lives as God gave us the power to choose. He also gave us the tools to become greater than we are today! Many of us, don’t ever reach our destiny as we stay in the same ruts.

Just like four wheeling, if you keep driving down the same ruts, they will just keep getting deeper. If we keep going down the same path, it only gets harder to get out.

Now I’m not saying it is impossible, as with God anything is possible. But it is easier at times to stay in those ruts as we already know what to expect.

Now imagine going down those ruts, and you start climbing up, just to slide back down. To some it’s scary as they feel like anytime they start getting somewhere, something happens and they slide back down. At that point you have a choice.

One of your choices are to stay in that rut and give up trying. This will lead to despair, regret, anger, and depression. Many people feel they are too weak to go on, or it’s pointless. I’ve been down this road a few times, and it is easy to get sucked back down. I had one person tell me once, if you think you are beaten, then you are. Part of overcoming obstacles is our outlook. Which leads to the other choice and that is to try again!

If you keep struggling and not getting the outcome you want, STOP! Take a step back, and think of what you truly want. The people who are experienced at four wheeling, usually know what to do in situations. Do you know why that is?

They have experienced it, or have learned from someone else who has. They know how to get out of those ruts that suck you down. They don’t go in the mud hole thinking they will fail. They go in with confidence that they will prevail!

For any trial we go through, we should do the same. Face it knowing that we have an amazing God who has the power to perform miracles! I always say this and will say it again: For one negative, think of at least 3 positives.

It’s hard at first, but I promise it makes a difference. I was in a few ruts and didn’t know how to get out. I thought I was stuck and no matter what I couldn’t get out. Then I got stronger, spiritually and mentally. I overcame those obstacles.

I won’t lie and say it’s easy now, as you will always have battles you are faced with. If you seek God, the devil will try to put you in deep ruts, sometimes some that you don’t think is possible to get out of! That is just life unfortunately. What you can control is how you respond to these obstacles.

God has gave us the tools we need to become greater. He’s given us the power to overcome as well as free will to choose. It is on us to figure out if we are going to choose the path meant for us or the path that leads to nowhere. For if we choose God, the end of our road leads to glory, to me that is worth all the struggles!

Take the first step

If you want anything in life, you must work for it. Life is definitely not easy and it is full of trials. These trials are what helps us become who we are. Just as long as we remember that God gives us choices.

If we lose sight on what is good, we may lose sight of who we really are meant to become. But if we keep our eyes on God and the positives, we will continue to grow! Our growth will know no limits, and take us to heights we never dreamed of. The only thing it takes is for us to take the first step!

To be completely honest, I’ve struggled on finding on who I am meant to be. I thought I had it all figured out til my wreck. I was really good the first year, as I wanted to get better, to barrel race again. I had all the motivation and desire, but the pain was too much.

I couldn’t sit for 30 minutes or stand for 10 minutes. I knew that surgery was my next option. I was scared but knew if I wanted to do things I did before, I had to do it.

Surgery was brutal, not only on myself but for my husband and kids. I realized that I wanted to be there for them for the future. So I started babying myself.

Now I did my exercises and worked out and as long as I was doing that my pain with my back was good. So I decided to not fix my back. My hip was sore but nothing like before.

I did that for awhile and finally got back on a horse at my moms. I cried of course, (happy tears) but when I got home I didn’t have a horse to ride. I kept pushing myself to get stronger til my daughter got sick.

She had a blood infection from chigger bites and scared me. I was off work for a week and I let myself stop working out. It took a little while to get her back to where I wasn’t watching her constantly as she had flair ups. Ever since then it has been hard to get back into it.

I had developed a fear of doing things that I used to have so much confidence in the past. But the first step is realizing this. The first step is always the hardest and no matter what anyone says, it is possible!

So I have taken the first step again. This is and will always be an ongoing battle, but I am willing to keep praying and moving forward. I know God has plans for me and he is not done yet.

I am going to get back into exercising every day and working on overcoming fears I have obtained while on this journey. I know life is too short to not be happy. Life is also too short to my love your dreams!

I have a wonderful life and truly blessed right now, but I know God has bigger plans for me. For that I will take my first steps, to greatness! Each step may not be easy but at least it is forward motion!

NFR GOALS

I’ve been blessed to meet and spend some time with a lot of the girls that are going to the NFR this year. They are truly amazing.

I have to say before everybody starts in on their couch jockeying, I want to ask you guys if you guys have ever heard of the verse, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her”? Now I know the lady in the Bible did less than desirable things, but haven’t we all made mistakes? It is not our job to point out others faults.

These girls have worked their butts off! They have made it through blood, sweat, and tears. They have endured mental and physical exhaustion, pain, loss of loved ones, and broken bones just to be able to do what they love, what God called them for. See we’re all unique, each and everyone of us. We are all bound for greatness if we just trust God and follow his path. The girls I have met, their faith is strong and they honestly love to encourage others. They don’t like to tear people down, they work together although they’re competing for the same prize. They would love to get that gold buckle, but to get to heaven is so much more rewarding. They have put in miles upon miles, they have missed family gatherings, birthdays, loved ones. They have always tried to keep a smile on their face even in times of trouble because others are watching them.

What you don’t see is all the hard work that it takes to get where they are behind closed doors. So before you pass judgment realize that no one is perfect, every single person on this earth makes mistakes. I challenge each and every couch jockey out there that thinks that they can do such a better job riding these horses in that arena. I challenge you to get off your butt and do it. Sitting there is not going to accomplish anything, sitting there complaining is not going to make yourself feel better, sitting there will prevent you from accomplishing what God wants you to do. So instead of being that person who says the girl riding should’ve done this or she should’ve done that, or I could ride that horse better, STOP! I challenge you to start thinking of the positives. I guarantee that each one of those ladies that made it to the NFR don’t criticize others. They know that everybody starts at the bottom and has to work their way up to the top. They have a huge passion for the rodeo and to make the sport better not worse they encourage others and cheer each other on. They are not happy when someone has a bad run. They know at the end of the day gold buckles are just buckles, and true championships is not won here on earth. The true goal is to get to heaven, so instead of criticizing these girls performances, be a light! They are under so much stress and it’s not all fun going to Vegas, it’s a lot of hard work, it’s grueling and they don’t get sleep. They could definitely use some encouraging words during this time but if you’re still adamant that you can do better than any of these girls then what I challenge you is to get off your butt and do it because actions speak a whole lot more than words, talking is overrated.

Never Give up on what you love

“In the day when I cried out, You answered me, and made me bold with strength in my soul.” Psalm 138:3

This was when I was 7 months post op. I am now officially one year post op.

This is a long post.

I won’t lie, after you get hurt sometimes it is hard to get back on or do things you used to do again. Not because you are scared of riding again, but just scared of the unknown and if it will be okay, what the new normal will be, or if the surgery(surgeries) worked. I was nervous today.

But this is what I have been waiting on! I have not barrel raced since September 2016 and it’s been a LONG journey! I know I still have a long journey ahead. But things that are your dreams are worth the rough roads to get there.

My left hip did good, my other hip is a little sore, but with the surgery I compensated by putting more pressure on the right hip.

Sorry I cried, honestly didn’t think my husband was videotaping. But I do want to tell everyone that no matter what you are going through or faced with, if you want something bad enough, never give up! Life is too short to live with regrets. You should never say I can’t, and always say I will. If you are struggling, God will get you through it all. If it wasn’t for the good Lord, I would have gave up a long time ago. He gives me strength to keep going.

I’ve had setbacks, and breakdowns. I just don’t let myself stay there. So if you are going through a tough time, there is hope. You just have to have Faith! Don’t ever give up! If you want something bad enough you will get there if you keep moving forward. It may not be the way you want it to be, but that doesn’t mean you can’t do what you love. You will have setbacks. Just remember those setbacks teach you something and make you stronger! On your journey think of at least one positive in each situation. Remember God has a plan for each one of us and a destiny we could not even imagine. So stay strong and keep focused on what is important.

So for those that don’t know my story, I was in a car accident in 2016. I’m 7 months post op from hip surgery. I sold all my riding horses since the accident so I wouldn’t be tempted before I was able to again. But the doctor recently told me I can SLOWLY start easing into it as tolerated. I was on a horse a few weeks ago, for a few minutes, but really didn’t get to ride. So I took advantage at my moms house. This is the first time I got to actually ride since I sold my little yellow horse last year. (I rode him about 3-4 times for about 15 minutes after I had my injection just around the house.) Then I sold him so I wouldn’t ride and hurt myself before I was meant to ride. I told some it was because I needed a free runner, but really it was God knowing how long of a road I would be on. I prayed long and hard about that as it was a very hard decision. So I am now back to square one again, I still have pain, but not constant. I have flare ups and I’m not 100% but I’m working on it. Keep having faith!

#thinkpositive #nevergiveup #staystrong #Godwillprovide #rundevilrun #roadtorecovery #nomorecrutches #ridinghorses #faithoverfear #overcomer #winning #Godwillmovemountains #fearisaliar

Crossroads in life

I’m at a point in my life where I’m kind of stuck at a crossroad. I thank God every day for everything I have as he has provided me so much.

But sometimes I wonder if I meant for more sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path. Before my accident I thought I knew what I was meant to do. But now there is a possibility that might not happen. I love horses and I know getting back on one is going to take a lot of work for myself. As when I got on my mom’s horse for that short time I was scared.

I don’t know what my journey may hold. I just know that no matter what I’ve got to keep trying. I am trying to live day by day instead of in the what if’s or future as tomorrow is never promised to anyone.

I love my life and if I wore to die today I would be happy. I get to live in the country, have my horses, work at an amazing place, I have wonderful family. I am no longer living in a world of regret.

I know everything happens for a reason and eventually some of those reasons come to light, other times they do not.

I know it’s hard, but I’m learning that just because your path changes directions, doesn’t mean the end. It just means the next road may be a detour and you will end on the same path. Or it could mean that where you end up is greater. God only knows and as long as we trust him, things will work out!

Don’t take things for granted

Never take anything for granted! No minute of the day is ever promised. So when you are struggling, remember someone else is wishing they could be in your position.

For those who go to a race and don’t clock to get a check, tip over barrels, still stuck in the 5D, be grateful. There is someone out there that would love the opportunity to be doing what you are doing. They would love to be able to go down that alley or even just ride a horse.

Sometimes our life changes, and so must our plans. Just because you are blessed to do something one day, doesn’t mean you can tomorrow. It doesn’t mean give up, you just have to adjust to your new normal.

This picture means so much to me and reminds me of how blessed I am.

The guy in the back, his name is Pastor Tim Wallace. He served the Lord and meant a lot to many. He is no longer with us. He didn’t lose his battle to cancer, he won. His faith stayed true during his trials and now he’s being rewarded greatly, with no pain!

This horse, Pacer, was another blessing. She was all heart and no matter what I asked, she gave it her all. I didn’t get to ride her but a few years because of an injury from her race track years.

Then there is myself, who loves barrel racing. I was truly blessed as there was a barrel race every night of the week where I live. I had dreams and goals of my own. But it wasn’t what God had planned at that time.

I got in a wreck and almost 2 years later, I am just able to ride a very broke horse. Only God knows if I will ever compete again.

I know that everything works out in Gods timing, but I would love to be able to run down that alley again. I remember those days that I was frustrated when we tipped a barrel or wasn’t clocking. But now, I would love to be able to do that again.

Life changes, faster than what we would like. Our great horses, family, & friends, leave us sometimes without even a warning.

So don’t take anything for granted and enjoy your time on earth! If you love it find a way. If you don’t move on. Life is too short to be worrying and living in the what if’s! Live in the right now! If you can’t do something you love anymore, find the positive in every situation!

Success

Why my success is owed to God because without him I would not be here.

Now many think of success as a big fancy house, car, clothes, and so much more. Success isn’t measured in money, it is all the little things!

Waking up in the morning, getting dressed, eating, and breathing! You don’t realize every day you are here on earth is a success!

Now I have been through some rather hard times in my life. I’ve also made some choices that I wasn’t proud of. But through it all those choices led me to who I am now.

My struggles shaped me, lost my faith and grew my faith. They shook me enough to get back on track. God never let go of me and always was there.

He gave me a friend when I needed it as well as an enemy to strengthen me. He gave me all the tools to mold me to who I am today and he continues to do so for who I need to be tomorrow!

Out of everything I have right now, my biggest success is who I am and what I have today with everything I have been through.

I have an amazing family, husband, kids. Yes everyone is quirky but I love them. I have a roof over my head, food on the table, and clothes on my back. I have a job that has amazing core values, and a great team to work with.

To some my life may seem perfect, I assure you it’s not. I have struggles like anyone. I get down but I have a God who fights for me. He has provided me with a husband, that when I am lost, helps me find myself.

I know everyone has struggles that are different. But instead of focusing on all the negative in your life; focus on the good. Even if it is something small like you put on matching socks for the day!

God will provide for us if we just allow it. You can turn yourself from a negative Nancy to someone who is happy! So start focusing on your successes! Start with the small ones then you will see bigger successes later.

Troubled Times

When we go through troubled times, we need to remember that evil will not win! If we turn to God, he will protect us and carry us through deep water as our enemies can’t swim!

Sometimes we wonder why would God do this to me or make me suffer. Why would God let an innocent person or child pass away. We often hear the answer is, “God will only give you what you can handle.”

I’m hear to tell you that is not the case! Not ALL trials are from God. The devil will try anything to get you to lose faith including making the wrong path seem like an easier road to travel.

God lets us make our own choices, although he already knows the plans for us. Some of the troubles are from choices he tried to get us to not do. You know that little voice in your head saying, “Do not do, or say that!” That’s God trying to protect us.

Now if we refuse to listen, Gods love is so big, that he will still love us through our tough times. When we are weak, he will carry us. When we hurt, he will heal us. He is more powerful than the devil ever will be.

The devil will try to push you over the edge, he will try to break you down. He puts fear and doubts in your mind. He is afraid of what God has in store for each one of us!

Sometimes the biggest battles go to the biggest warriors for God. Not because God wants to punish them, but he knows the blessings will be so huge and the devil is terrified! At times I feel like this is why some leave this earth to early.

God knows that the people that leave this earth too early, in our eyes, have been a blessing to so many others.

They are in heaven where the Devil can’t hurt them, where they have no pain, no sorrow. They are where the devil can’t push them over the edge.

Whose to say, God took them from this earth, to protect them. God knew something we did not, he also knew the future of the mourning will be tough. What we don’t know is the plan.

We just have to trust him that the reasonings are so much greater than the sorrows we may currently face. God is smarter than any of us, so we should not question why. I know it is hard at times.

But he will provide for us, watch over us, and help heal the hurting. God will never leave us through troubled times.

Just like the footprints in the sand, when there was 2 sets. When trouble hit, it went down to one set of prints. That was because God was carrying you through the trials!

So I know times will get tough, and you will want to give up. You want to lash out, hate God & everyone else, I completely understand. No amount of words will make trying times better. I just want you to know that you do have a future.

It does get better, not easier, but better. You will adapt, have a new normal, and survive. It may be the hardest thing you ever face, or preparing you for it.

One thing remains the same, no matter WHAT you are faced with, YOU have the power to overcome it. You can beat the odds and make the devil run. Remember Fear IS a liar, & YOU are good enough. The person you lost, you will see again, and the people they are helping now, through you, will never forget it.

Stay true to yourself, never give up, always have faith, and remember God IS greater than the devil will EVER be!

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalms 9:9

Know Your Why!

Do you have something that you can’t go a day without thinking of? If you have a a dream that is so big it seems impossible, that is your why!

People have many dreams and goals but there is one that God has put in each one of our lives, and that is our purpose. Some never try to reach it as they feel unqualified, but anything is possible with God.

Many have asked, “What if I have many big dreams?” The answer is to pray about it. Think about why do you do, what you do? What has been a goal or dream for a long time, that you can’t quit thinking of. Then ask what is the biggest goal that scares you the most. That is when you find your why.

Your reason or your, “why” will seem like a mountain to get to. But God has equipped you to make that climb.

Now I want you to look in the mirror. That reflection you see is your biggest challenge. You have to be the one that stays motivated, not anyone else. When you want to slow down; someone else is picking up the pace. You are the main reason whether you reach your dreams or you stop trying.

You have to have a never give up attitude. Become a leader, not a follower. Be willing to take that extra step or two. Be willing to overcome pain and struggles!

There will be hard times, where many people give up. But if you truly are passionate, find a way to keep going! Your purpose on earth is not sitting on the couch.

This life is too short to not live for your why! So find your why, your purpose and start chasing those dreams! Always remember God already know the plans for you. Ultimately you have to choose what path you want to take.

I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Thank You Lord (Nurse)

Dear Lord,

I don’t want to ask for anything, I just want to say thank you!

Thank you for giving me the wisdom to teach others.

Thank you for giving me the strength to get through the tough times.

Thank you for giving me a passion to help others in need.

Thank you for giving me compassion to Comfort those who have lost

Thank you for giving me empathy for the ones who will pass.

Thank you for giving me the power to stand up for others who don’t have a voice.

Thank you for making me humble.

Thank you for giving me accountability, to solve problems that arise.

Thank you for giving me the resilience to change.

Thank you for giving me integrity to do the right thing even when it’s hard.

But most of all thank you for allowing me to be a nurse!

Long Shot Cowgirl

Hospice, is it truly scary?

Imagine you are weakened, on 3-4 Liters of oxygen and have COPD. You can’t seem to catch a breath, your in pain, maxed out on Home health. Plus on top of that your family is trying to take care of you but they are working, or you are just by yourself. You have been fighting a good fight and not wanting to give up. But no matter what your body is shutting down. You have tried everything else but it’s not working.

Now when this happens would you rather be alone with your only support system as your family?

Or would you rather be surrounded by caring and compassionate nurses and volunteers as well as your family? These people who will get you the bed you need to sleep a little easier, pain medication to keep you comfortable, volunteers to help give your family a rest as well as come spend time with you. They are trained to help you live and make you comfortable as can be during your darkest time. It doesn’t have to be a dark time anymore!

If you think hospice is a scary word. Not too long ago hospice was considered a death sentence. Anytime we heard that word it was associated with death, so it is not a surprise that many people are scared.

Now I used to be one of those people as I never really understood the benefits of hospice. But after seeing family members go through hospice I learned the true meaning.

Although we think we can, we cannot control our time here on earth. When it is our time to go there is no way of stopping it. There is no magic potion to let us live forever.

Hospice is not what causes death, it’s just our time to go. Whether we are on hospice or not, when that time comes there is nothing you can do about it. Hospice helps people live, until their time.

It gives them the support they need, pain management, nursing to pet therapy to music therapy to a lot of other methods that are there during our most difficult times in life.

It is not only for just the person but their family as well. And just because you are on hospice does not necessarily mean you’re going to die within three days. I have seen people live and have to transfer off of hospice because they got that extra care and got better. Then I’ve seen people wait until the very end of their time in fear of hospice and don’t make it past three days. This goes back to the fact we can not control when it is our time to go. The ones who pass away quickly on hospice, are the ones who don’t truly understand what hospice has to offer. They don’t get to experience the full benefits of what hospice has to offer.

I now am a firm believer In hospice and what it has to offer for not only the person but the family. If you get the right company, the support is amazing! It helps guide you on your journey and they help with both the physical and mental aspects. It is truly a gift and a blessing. The hospice workers and volunteers are also a blessing and truly caring!

So before you decide not to go with hospice, please have an open mind and heart.