Life changes

So I’m frustrated and I just don’t know where to start. I’m overwhelmed and with no answers, it is scary.

It’s scary not knowing what my daughter can or can’t eat. Or if she will go into anaphylactic shock for eating something she shouldn’t.

I think The biggest thing is the unknown. Everything is just so new and only 2 doctors are really studying what she has, so it is scary.

One minute she was enjoying hotdogs & hamburgers the next we found out they were making her sick. So that’s another I struggle I deal with. I was feeding my child something that was hurting her, without even knowing.

How can something so tiny cause that much trouble? Some say the government trials, others say it’s been around but no one knew about it. All I know is it is now a part of my family’s life. We have to make life changes which can be very trying!

Sometimes we have to cook two different meals, while others we try new things. I have to not only watch but teach her what to watch for. We have to make sure she doesn’t feel left out and provide education to her school, friends, and other family.

This is a life altering & can be life threatening diagnosis. There is currently no cure and it can get worse over time. So all I can do is learn as much as possible, ask lots of questions, and most of all, provide support for her.

Life changes, we just have to gain more knowledge and move on.

Such a Time as This

This a tribute to an amazing person who is now in heaven rejoicing and singing praises. We lost a truly amazing person May 3, 2019. She was a warrior, child of Christ, mother, fighter, and so much more!

She was the kind of person that Even though she went through a major fight with cancer and the devil; she never complained. She always had a beautiful smile on her face and put others first. She always took the time to help others in need.

There were times when quitting seemed easier with some of the things I went through but she inspired me, along with many others, to be a better person & always keep going. She had a heart of gold. I just can not say enough good about her.

I struggled a few times and she always knew what to say. Some of her key phrases I remember her telling me is:

Winning: If you are out there trying you may not win the gold buckle but you will be winning. Never giving up will pay off if you keep trying. Winning is not letting the devil take your faith away! Winning is overcoming fear and conquering your demons. Winning is the baby steps you take on your way to greatness.

I was struggling with things after my wreck and not riding horses yet; and at the time she wasn’t riding horses either. She sent me this message and it gave me hope. She never waivered in her faith and was truly inspirational!

The last thing I got was a text from her, as even in her toughest times she still sent out a positive texts on Fridays.

“If you don’t value yourself, don’t expect anyone else to value you. Be the best you God intended you to be and not who the devil hoped you were.” Rpotter

She loved helping others and loved showing what Faith can do. I know many people said at her celebration of life, how she didn’t want anyone to know how sick she truly was. She did it because she didn’t want anyone to lose faith.

I was struggling with sleep and kept having nightmares for almost a month. Then one night, I had a dream with her in it. I sent this to her the next day but never got to tell her the details of the Dream.

“I had a dream about you last night. It was strange. You were at my house and we were talking about life and God. It was actually a very peaceful dream. Which I haven’t been having lately. I really can’t describe it. ”

See in this dream it felt so real, like she was right there. We talked about our kids, husbands, and everything else good going on with our lives. We talked about how God puts people in our lives for certain times, just like Esther. We talked how he protects us and in the end we will be surrounded by a peaceful fog with a huge glorious light shining through from above and we would be lifted up by the hand of God to the golden gates of Heaven.

This dream brought me so much peace and not even sure how it came about.

I will never be able to thank her enough or her family enough for supporting her while she followed Gods dreams for her. She was an amazing person and I just hope I’m at least 1/2 that good of a person. I’ll miss her Sunday morning services before barrel racing, her mentorship, her positive texts, her unbelievable prayers, her faith, her compassion, and most of all her heart. She absolutely loved her family and was so proud of them. Never once did I hear her say anything negative. She will truly be missed but I know I will see her again.

So in honor of her, think positive, be positive, show others positivity; but most of all HAVE FAITH and NEVER GIVE UP! Your problems are all in God’s hands so give it to him and focus on what God wants you to do with your life. As Roxy would say the battle was already won, you just focus on God and doing the right thing and let God handle your problems. Because YOU, YES You, were made for such a time as this!

Hospice, is it truly scary?

Imagine you are weakened, on 3-4 Liters of oxygen and have COPD. You can’t seem to catch a breath, your in pain, maxed out on Home health. Plus on top of that your family is trying to take care of you but they are working, or you are just by yourself. You have been fighting a good fight and not wanting to give up. But no matter what your body is shutting down. You have tried everything else but it’s not working.

Now when this happens would you rather be alone with your only support system as your family?

Or would you rather be surrounded by caring and compassionate nurses and volunteers as well as your family? These people who will get you the bed you need to sleep a little easier, pain medication to keep you comfortable, volunteers to help give your family a rest as well as come spend time with you. They are trained to help you live and make you comfortable as can be during your darkest time. It doesn’t have to be a dark time anymore!

If you think hospice is a scary word. Not too long ago hospice was considered a death sentence. Anytime we heard that word it was associated with death, so it is not a surprise that many people are scared.

Now I used to be one of those people as I never really understood the benefits of hospice. But after seeing family members go through hospice I learned the true meaning.

Although we think we can, we cannot control our time here on earth. When it is our time to go there is no way of stopping it. There is no magic potion to let us live forever.

Hospice is not what causes death, it’s just our time to go. Whether we are on hospice or not, when that time comes there is nothing you can do about it. Hospice helps people live, until their time.

It gives them the support they need, pain management, nursing to pet therapy to music therapy to a lot of other methods that are there during our most difficult times in life.

It is not only for just the person but their family as well. And just because you are on hospice does not necessarily mean you’re going to die within three days. I have seen people live and have to transfer off of hospice because they got that extra care and got better. Then I’ve seen people wait until the very end of their time in fear of hospice and don’t make it past three days. This goes back to the fact we can not control when it is our time to go. The ones who pass away quickly on hospice, are the ones who don’t truly understand what hospice has to offer. They don’t get to experience the full benefits of what hospice has to offer.

I now am a firm believer In hospice and what it has to offer for not only the person but the family. If you get the right company, the support is amazing! It helps guide you on your journey and they help with both the physical and mental aspects. It is truly a gift and a blessing. The hospice workers and volunteers are also a blessing and truly caring!

So before you decide not to go with hospice, please have an open mind and heart.