The first part of the struggles with being on crutches was gaining strength. Trying to walk very far took a lot out of me. It was also a challenge getting up and down stairs, in and out of stores, and just doing regular tasks.
I was blessed having horses so my upper body strength wasn’t too bad, but some muscles you just don’t use.
In the beginning, I had someone carry everything for me, from food to laptop for work. It was December 1 when I was put on crutches so of course, I couldn’t help decorate for Christmas.
Having to sit around while other people took care of my animals, decorated for Christmas, and did things for me I was unable to do at the time, bothered me. I had a some pity parties, got frustrated, cried, and withdrew at times.
My hunting season was not great either as I didn’t get to hunt much. So not being able to help provide meat in the freezer was a downfall as well.
I wanted so much to just go about my life with no worries, but there I was limited. I started thinking of all the things I couldn’t do, and what I was missing out on. I just felt helpless.
I couldn’t jump on the trampoline, couldn’t walk my horse, couldn’t go to BBR
Finals although I qualified. I was upset because I had a chance to be top 10 in my horses division, but due to the wreck I had to stop riding horses until I was cleared. I started getting grumpy and withdrew.
Then of course my husband stepped in and he allowed me to have a breakdown, pity party, or whatever you want to call it. I cried and afterwards I felt so much better. I then turned to God for answers and realized that although my current situation was tough, it was not who I was, I am no quitter.
I am really good at talking with God when things are going good, but I have struggled with getting closer to him when I struggle.
I started thinking of all the positives, and found a way to carry my computer for work. I didn’t give up and got my horse to lead him with my crutches. I figured out solutions to a my problems that I could address.
I had my kids take turns going to the store with me so I could shop instead of my husband, unless it required heavy lifting.
I spent time with my horse just brushing him while on crutches. My barrel horse was in the barn, so I had to have someone catch him and turn him loose in the pasture for a little bit then put him back up. I tried leading him with the crutches but I would hit his leg and it wouldn’t work out. I never gave up though and kept trying! One day we both figured out how to manage with me on crutches. That was a “winning” situation, and I felt so independent and happy!
I wrote in a journal to release some frustrations and challenges.
I learned how to carry plates, and drinks with my crutches and managed to get in and out of the shower by myself.
Now it was hard when I got my letter for BBR finals and had to just throw it away. But I prayed about it and came to the conclusion there was a reason for me not going.
Well during the BBR they had a bad storm and they didn’t get to perform all days and some trailers were tipped over. So God protected me from that.
God has showed me different things along the way. I read the whole bible front to back then started picking it apart to really understand it. This helped me out and the books of Job and Esther stuck out to me.
Esther was born to do something great, although she was scared and didn’ know how.
Job had so much faith, even after loosing everything. He never gave up!
They both were rewarded for the love they shared for God and doing what was right, even when it was hard.
I missed out a lot with my girls, husband, and horses. But I did grow. I grew spiritually and physically.
Through physical therapy I gained strength and different excercises to keep my strength and get stronger than before.
Spiritually I grew closer to God, and opened my eyes. I learned patience, perseverance, hope, and faith the hard way. I learned that no matter what God is close to the broken hearted and he does provide. Although I already knew it, he reinforced it.
I made it through, and after months of being non weight bearing my fracture started to heal.
I was able to get off crutches and had an injection in my hip. The doctor wanted me to continue excercising and gaining strength so when or if I need surgery, I will be strong enough. He said recovery would be easier that way. It was kind of a relief I would be off crutches for summer.
