Hunting Season 2017

This year when I was climbing the ladder stands my pain got really bad. I knew I couldn’t use a climber because raising it up uses my hips so I only used ladder stands. This also happened to be the time that the injection was wearing of and more things started irritating it. I couldn’t drive to work half way before it was uncomfortable again. Thankfully I had heated seats in my truck.

So my husband and I decided to go ahead and have me do the surgery. I knew it would be a hard journey but never knew how hard it would be.

I still continued to hunt, as that is meat in our freezer. I endured the pain everyday, although it would have hurt even if I didn’t hunt.

After I shot my buck I decided to wait until after surgery to continue to hunt. My surgery was set for a week before Thanksgiving so I thought I would have plenty of time afterwards. Boy was I wrong!

Hip injection and Summer Time

I had my hip injected to see how long that would last as I was completing physical therapy and only other option was surgery. Which surgeon wanted to get me stronger and I was against surgery.

The injection hurt when they did it, and they used an ultrasound machine to guide the needle. They used a long needle and the pain was burning as the needle went through my muscles into my hip. Granted they also used lidocaine but it didn’t help deep down. Honestly that was the most painful experience I had with any needle, ever!

Afterwards it gave me instant relief, and for the first time the drive home was painfree! Normally I could not drive about 20-30 minutes before it hurt.

I was also cleared to do whatever as tolerated to see if I could handle it. So the first thing I thought of was riding horses.

I could not ride the first 2 days as it was raining and I needed to work my horse some. I was going to send him out but I couldn’t wait that long. I got on him in the round pen after lunging him a few minutes. To those who don’t ride are probably thinking, BAD idea!

He took care of me and did everything I asked. I buried my head onto his neck. I will be honest, I cried.

I cried because on the back of a horse, I feel close to God, and free. All my problems go away and my day becomes brighter! I cried because I finally seen light at the end of the tunnel and it gave me a newfound hope!

I knew I couldn’t barrel race but still rode him at a walk and sometimes for a brief trot. I did try a lope a couple times but that increased the pain I had.

I took him to a local playdays to ride in the arena around other people, and planned on just taking it slow around the patterns. But I ended up loading him in the trailer and going home. My discomfort level and fear of hurting myself worse took over. So I only rode my horse a handful of times.

Within 5 months the injection wore off. I was able to walk but I tried slowly to run. I finally made it a mile but then was so stoved up the next day it wasn’t worth it. We went to Branson on a family trip during the summer. Standing or walking around on concrete in Branson was awful but didn’t want to ruin it for the kids. It was their first trip to Branson.

Even with the increase of pain, I was still managing to walk a mile every day because it would make my back feel better if I did.

I came to the determination that I would just suck it up and live with the pain.

That was until hunting season came around again.

Life on crutches part one

The first part of the struggles with being on crutches was gaining strength. Trying to walk very far took a lot out of me. It was also a challenge getting up and down stairs, in and out of stores, and just doing regular tasks.

I was blessed having horses so my upper body strength wasn’t too bad, but some muscles you just don’t use.

In the beginning, I had someone carry everything for me, from food to laptop for work. It was December 1 when I was put on crutches so of course, I couldn’t help decorate for Christmas.

Having to sit around while other people took care of my animals, decorated for Christmas, and did things for me I was unable to do at the time, bothered me. I had a some pity parties, got frustrated, cried, and withdrew at times.

My hunting season was not great either as I didn’t get to hunt much. So not being able to help provide meat in the freezer was a downfall as well.

I wanted so much to just go about my life with no worries, but there I was limited. I started thinking of all the things I couldn’t do, and what I was missing out on. I just felt helpless.

I couldn’t jump on the trampoline, couldn’t walk my horse, couldn’t go to BBR

Finals although I qualified. I was upset because I had a chance to be top 10 in my horses division, but due to the wreck I had to stop riding horses until I was cleared. I started getting grumpy and withdrew.

Then of course my husband stepped in and he allowed me to have a breakdown, pity party, or whatever you want to call it. I cried and afterwards I felt so much better. I then turned to God for answers and realized that although my current situation was tough, it was not who I was, I am no quitter.

I am really good at talking with God when things are going good, but I have struggled with getting closer to him when I struggle.

I started thinking of all the positives, and found a way to carry my computer for work. I didn’t give up and got my horse to lead him with my crutches. I figured out solutions to a my problems that I could address.

I had my kids take turns going to the store with me so I could shop instead of my husband, unless it required heavy lifting.

I spent time with my horse just brushing him while on crutches. My barrel horse was in the barn, so I had to have someone catch him and turn him loose in the pasture for a little bit then put him back up. I tried leading him with the crutches but I would hit his leg and it wouldn’t work out. I never gave up though and kept trying! One day we both figured out how to manage with me on crutches. That was a “winning” situation, and I felt so independent and happy!

I wrote in a journal to release some frustrations and challenges.

I learned how to carry plates, and drinks with my crutches and managed to get in and out of the shower by myself.

Now it was hard when I got my letter for BBR finals and had to just throw it away. But I prayed about it and came to the conclusion there was a reason for me not going.

Well during the BBR they had a bad storm and they didn’t get to perform all days and some trailers were tipped over. So God protected me from that.

God has showed me different things along the way. I read the whole bible front to back then started picking it apart to really understand it. This helped me out and the books of Job and Esther stuck out to me.

Esther was born to do something great, although she was scared and didn’ know how.

Job had so much faith, even after loosing everything. He never gave up!

They both were rewarded for the love they shared for God and doing what was right, even when it was hard.

I missed out a lot with my girls, husband, and horses. But I did grow. I grew spiritually and physically.

Through physical therapy I gained strength and different excercises to keep my strength and get stronger than before.

Spiritually I grew closer to God, and opened my eyes. I learned patience, perseverance, hope, and faith the hard way. I learned that no matter what God is close to the broken hearted and he does provide. Although I already knew it, he reinforced it.

I made it through, and after months of being non weight bearing my fracture started to heal.

I was able to get off crutches and had an injection in my hip. The doctor wanted me to continue excercising and gaining strength so when or if I need surgery, I will be strong enough. He said recovery would be easier that way. It was kind of a relief I would be off crutches for summer.

Thanksgiving trip ending in Pain & bad news!

With the kids it usually takes about 18 to 19 hour driving to get to where I used to live. That is trying to not take many stops except to fuel up and eat at least once.

Normally I am ready to go when we get there, except a little tired.

When we arrived I was pretty stoved up but the day after was the worst.

I had a horrible time trying to walk and it was then that I realized for definite that I had a bigger problem than just a pulled groin muscle.

I couldn’t stand up straight and the pain was awful when walking. I usually ride horses with my mom but that was out! It got better over the next few days after rest, but put a damper on my vacation.

I contacted the doctor via an app on my phone and he called me later stating that he was referring me to a specialist in Springfield. He said that he just got results back from MRI and it was a problem in the hips. Since he did not do hips, he would not be able to help. He did say there was for sure a tear and when I came back home to take it easy.

I was a good girl and stayed off my mom’s horses. We did not do some things we normally do because of myself so I felt bad. We even left a day early so we could take it nice and slow going home which helped some.

I went to the specialist in Springfield when I went home, and he could tell because it was more comfortable for me to stand crooked, versus sitting on anything.

The Specialist informed me that I not only had two tears, one anterior and one posterior, I also had a stress fracture on my hip. He put me on crutches and informed me that I would have to be non-weight-bearing on that side until the fracture healed.

The doctor stated he would be unable to fix the tears until the fracture healed because if he tried he would literally break me in half. Those were his exact words so I chose to be good and do what he asked.

I stayed off horses and remained on crutches for close to six months. I went through therapy two to three times a week and juggled working, and family life.

I was just grateful that I could still drive. It was very hard and trying times as I am very independent. But I knew God would get me through this trial, as he always does.

Follow up after the wreck (herniated disc)

So after a month I was still hurting, and of course my walking was a little off.

The back Surgeon after one of the MRI’s confirmed I had 3 herniated discs in my lower back. He mentioned possible surgery but wanted physical therapy to try their luck as well as my hip to get looked at.

I still didn’t know what was going on with my hip but I was getting a little anxious as it was hunting season and getting up in the tree stand was painful.

Plus I had not rode my horse since 2 weeks prior to the wreck. I had went to a two day barrel race. I qualified for finals and was ready to get back to riding. I just had a feeling something still wasn’t right. So figured I’d be better safe than sorry.

My pain level was consistently at a 3-6 in my groin and back. I used to sleep on my left side but that had changed. I also used to work out daily on the treadmill and that changed as well.

Everything I used to do, I wasn’t able to and it was only 1 month after the wreck.

I did get an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon for my hip and he scheduled another MRI.

It was for November right before we had plans to go to Colorado to see my mom and moms side of the family. He said if it was major he would call if not we would talk when I got back.

The MRI was a scary situation in itself for someone that is claustrophobic to a certain degree. But I made it through and prayed I would have my answers when I got back.

So we packed up and headed for Colorado.

God’s Glory (Abdominal Mass)

I followed up with my primary doctor after the wreck as my pain was still there in my hip and lower back.

I didn’t get much figured out as they were really concerned regarding the mass so scheduled an ultrasound.

The doctor also sent me to a specialist for my back for a future appointment. They still thought the groin pain was just muscle so nothing happened on that yet.

The mass I was scared, don’t get me wrong. It was a big deal to me. My first thought was cancer. My Aunt passed away from cancer and dad had colon cancer. Many of my other family members and friends have dealt with cancer.

So I had thoughts running through my head and I knew it was the devil trying to steal my faith. So I prayed, and asked for prayers. I knew everything was going to work out. But there was that little voice in the back of my head that scared me.

For my family I decided to be brave and just have faith that it will be fine.

When I went to do the ultrasound, there was a lady training so it made it a little better as the guy explained things in detail. It was very uncomfortable though and took about 30 minutes.

I did get the results very quickly and the mass had shrunk some, so they are pretty sure it is just a cyst.

I was so relieved and happy that God got me through that. I’m grateful it was not cancer and it all worked out.

God gets us through so many trials, we have to learn how to trust in him. It is a struggle and not easy at times!

Wreck that changed everything

I was driving my Chevy one ton truck as the sun was coming up when my life changed. My radio was tuned to K-Love, which is a Christian station. I had just got promoted at work about two weeks prior, and was headed to work.

I popped up over a small hill and seen a person at a stop sign, but before I had a chance to do anything she pulled out in front of me.

She was a young girl headed to school & I knew in an instant we would collide. I tried to slow down but it happened in a split second, although it seemed to last forever.

I remember praying to God to protect her as she was in a smaller vehicle. The impact was in her drivers side and luckily it hit her front wheel, and drivers door. It pushed her over 50 Yards.

If it would have hit only her drivers door, things would have been different. She was also lucky that her car was older and made of metal instead of fiberglass.

When the collision was over, I expected the worst. I couldn’t see the girl and couldn’t open my door, or unbuckle. There was the stench of airbags and antifreeze. My first thought was get to her, so I managed to finally unbuckle by God’s grace. The buckles locked so It took awhile to figure a way out of it. Then I forcefully opened my door as it was dented. About that time I seen her opening the passenger side of her car. She had to crawl over her console to get out.

I walked over to her and checked her for injuries, then gave her a hug. Poor thing was shaking and it appeared she was fine with the exception of a few minor cuts and scratches from her broken glass.

I called 911 & opted no ambulance since I was not in extreme pain. With being out in the country it took awhile before help arrived.

There was a guy that asked if I could move my truck so got my truck moved out of the middle of the road. Right afterwards the guy left the scene although he was the first one there.

I realized I would not be moving my truck anymore. I also called my husband who made it there in no time and just by the grace of God he was in service. He was working construction at the time and where they were building it is hit & miss.

As we were waiting my neck, groin, and back started hurting. I figured it was whiplash and didn’t think anything of it. I have high pain tolerance so I figured I would have my husband take me to get checked.

By the time the tow truck got my truck to my house, and I got to the hospital, a few hours had passed. I was swollen & my groin hurt. I’ve never had that kind of pain there before. They did an X-ray for mainly my back, they said I probably pulled a groin muscle. They found a mass as well that they were concerned with.

They offered pain medication and told me to follow up with my primary.