Crossroads in life

I’m at a point in my life where I’m kind of stuck at a crossroad. I thank God every day for everything I have as he has provided me so much.

But sometimes I wonder if I meant for more sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path. Before my accident I thought I knew what I was meant to do. But now there is a possibility that might not happen. I love horses and I know getting back on one is going to take a lot of work for myself. As when I got on my mom’s horse for that short time I was scared.

I don’t know what my journey may hold. I just know that no matter what I’ve got to keep trying. I am trying to live day by day instead of in the what if’s or future as tomorrow is never promised to anyone.

I love my life and if I wore to die today I would be happy. I get to live in the country, have my horses, work at an amazing place, I have wonderful family. I am no longer living in a world of regret.

I know everything happens for a reason and eventually some of those reasons come to light, other times they do not.

I know it’s hard, but I’m learning that just because your path changes directions, doesn’t mean the end. It just means the next road may be a detour and you will end on the same path. Or it could mean that where you end up is greater. God only knows and as long as we trust him, things will work out!

Life is like a flower

We as humans can lose our faith at times, which makes our dreams & goals dwindle, just like a flower. If we don’t nurture our faith, feed our body & soul, & believe; we are just going to die without blossoming.

We have to take take care of ourselves, by eating healthy, excercising, developing good relationships, learning when to let go! If you think of it, not all flowers will bloom.

In fact there are times where some die, so one may become bigger & more beautiful.

Just like in our life, sometimes we lose people, whether it be death or friendships lost. God has to take those out of your life in order to blossom into the person you are meant to be!

Each one of us are meant for greatness, if we just open our eyes & hearts!

Don’t Judge Others

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Mathew 7:3

Too many pass judgement on others, when their closest is full of sin!

There’s a homeless man with a sign asking for food, you think to yourself he’s too lazy to keep a job. Yet you have changed jobs 3 times in the last year. When in reality he was a veteran fighting for this country. He’s seen things he can’t process, so he’s lost not only some of his fellow marines; he’s lost his family. So he’s alone & needs someone to care & love him.

There’s an underage, unwed girl in your town. You think she’s a slut, who you don’t want your daughter hanging out with. Yet when you were younger, you slept with many people yourself. What you don’t know is this girl never got love from her family. Her father is an alcoholic, and beats on her mom. She just wants to be loved. She’s scared yet puts on a front to try to keep from getting hurt.

A large person walks into a restaurant with a buffet, and you make a rude comment. Yet you overindulgence by seeing how much you can eat. This person is trying to lose wait, yet they have a medical condition. They have been called fat all their life and don’t have a strong support system. All they want is society to love them & accept them.

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.” Romans 14:1-2

A family member comes out they are gay. They are scared but are tired of hiding. Instead of loving them for the person they have always been, you past judgment on them. Just like every other situation mentioned above, you judge others by the way they look, or the sin itself. When you have a closet full of skeletons yourself.

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7

We feel the need to judge others, although the only one that is meant to is the good Lord himself.

“For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is our king; he will save us.” Ephesians 33:22

We are out on this earth to love others! Guide them on their journey, and show them what Gods love can do for them. We are meant to follow the Ten Commandments, and grow love for Christ!

If we pass judgement on others, the only thing that it is doing is giving people reasons to not like God. Would you want to know & love a God that won’t forgive you for your sins? Our God GAVE his ONLY son to die for each one of US! Not so we can pass hate and judgement; but so we could live and love!

Our life should be full of living! When the time comes, God and only he, will place judgement. We don’t know what anyone else is going through. So instead of tearing others down, build them up.

Troubled Times

When we go through troubled times, we need to remember that evil will not win! If we turn to God, he will protect us and carry us through deep water as our enemies can’t swim!

Sometimes we wonder why would God do this to me or make me suffer. Why would God let an innocent person or child pass away. We often hear the answer is, “God will only give you what you can handle.”

I’m hear to tell you that is not the case! Not ALL trials are from God. The devil will try anything to get you to lose faith including making the wrong path seem like an easier road to travel.

God lets us make our own choices, although he already knows the plans for us. Some of the troubles are from choices he tried to get us to not do. You know that little voice in your head saying, “Do not do, or say that!” That’s God trying to protect us.

Now if we refuse to listen, Gods love is so big, that he will still love us through our tough times. When we are weak, he will carry us. When we hurt, he will heal us. He is more powerful than the devil ever will be.

The devil will try to push you over the edge, he will try to break you down. He puts fear and doubts in your mind. He is afraid of what God has in store for each one of us!

Sometimes the biggest battles go to the biggest warriors for God. Not because God wants to punish them, but he knows the blessings will be so huge and the devil is terrified! At times I feel like this is why some leave this earth to early.

God knows that the people that leave this earth too early, in our eyes, have been a blessing to so many others.

They are in heaven where the Devil can’t hurt them, where they have no pain, no sorrow. They are where the devil can’t push them over the edge.

Whose to say, God took them from this earth, to protect them. God knew something we did not, he also knew the future of the mourning will be tough. What we don’t know is the plan.

We just have to trust him that the reasonings are so much greater than the sorrows we may currently face. God is smarter than any of us, so we should not question why. I know it is hard at times.

But he will provide for us, watch over us, and help heal the hurting. God will never leave us through troubled times.

Just like the footprints in the sand, when there was 2 sets. When trouble hit, it went down to one set of prints. That was because God was carrying you through the trials!

So I know times will get tough, and you will want to give up. You want to lash out, hate God & everyone else, I completely understand. No amount of words will make trying times better. I just want you to know that you do have a future.

It does get better, not easier, but better. You will adapt, have a new normal, and survive. It may be the hardest thing you ever face, or preparing you for it.

One thing remains the same, no matter WHAT you are faced with, YOU have the power to overcome it. You can beat the odds and make the devil run. Remember Fear IS a liar, & YOU are good enough. The person you lost, you will see again, and the people they are helping now, through you, will never forget it.

Stay true to yourself, never give up, always have faith, and remember God IS greater than the devil will EVER be!

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalms 9:9

May 2016 dream

I was going through my memories on Facebook and something that popped up that brought back a lot of emotions. It was about my “papa” that I lost. He was a rancher, cowboy, and no matter what, he knew how to put a smile on my face!

“I had a dream last night & I was in a room with a lot of old pictures of my family growing up. A lot pictures of the ranch we grew up on with my nene & papa. All day I have been thinking of him for some reason.

When my grandpa passed away recently, it hit me hard as I was his raccoon. For the first few weeks I would wake before the alarm & I felt his presence, letting me know everything would be okay.

Well I’ve been stressed here lately & this morning, again I was woke up & had this motivation I could not explain. I remember our last conversation we had over the phone before he was sick, & he told me how much he was proud of me for everything with the horses & nursing.

I think the good Lord knew I needed this today as I want to continue to make the Lord happy as well as my family. I know I am not making my own plans, I’m just leaving it up to God as he knows better than I do, what I need. All I know is today I feel blessed to have the life I have, & it’s not easy but I will get where God wants me to go. With that I know in my heart as today he showed me I can.”

God’s Glory (Abdominal Mass)

I followed up with my primary doctor after the wreck as my pain was still there in my hip and lower back.

I didn’t get much figured out as they were really concerned regarding the mass so scheduled an ultrasound.

The doctor also sent me to a specialist for my back for a future appointment. They still thought the groin pain was just muscle so nothing happened on that yet.

The mass I was scared, don’t get me wrong. It was a big deal to me. My first thought was cancer. My Aunt passed away from cancer and dad had colon cancer. Many of my other family members and friends have dealt with cancer.

So I had thoughts running through my head and I knew it was the devil trying to steal my faith. So I prayed, and asked for prayers. I knew everything was going to work out. But there was that little voice in the back of my head that scared me.

For my family I decided to be brave and just have faith that it will be fine.

When I went to do the ultrasound, there was a lady training so it made it a little better as the guy explained things in detail. It was very uncomfortable though and took about 30 minutes.

I did get the results very quickly and the mass had shrunk some, so they are pretty sure it is just a cyst.

I was so relieved and happy that God got me through that. I’m grateful it was not cancer and it all worked out.

God gets us through so many trials, we have to learn how to trust in him. It is a struggle and not easy at times!

Bow Hunter

After my accident with the dirt bike, I never gave up with being able to pull a bow back. I tried for over 17 years, before I was able to.

Now it was a very light bow of my sister in laws, but I saw the light at the end of the tunnel! My husband went out and bought me my own so I could start shooting.

It was a Bear bow and gradually I was able to build enough muscle to shoot enough pounds to hunt.

The first few years, I didn’t get anything, as I was not the greatest on distances. Yes I had a range finder, but forgot it when I actually needed it.

There was a few that I didn’t think would be a good shot, so I just enjoyed actually just being out in the woods.

When I am hunting, I am in Gods country! Whether it is in the Colorado Mountains or Missouri woods, I feel close to God. There is a peace and quiet that I can’t explain. This is one place I can clear my mind!

I don’t ever take hunting for granted, as it is a way to provide for my family. I would never want to put myself in a position to just injure an animal. Although I am fully aware it does happen. There are steps hunters take to lessen those chances.

I made a swap with a bow and started shooting even better. The bow was a little faster and I did pretty good with it. It was a Bowtech,  I didn’t get to shoot it as much due to being on crutches from an auto accident, but practiced when I could.

In 2017 I finally had a chance at a buck. I was by myself in a tree stand, the first week of November. It was the night before youth season, and seen a doe come up out of the bottom.

Now I had decided, we had a lot of does and so if she would step out, I would shoot at her. But then to the right I seen another deer. This one was a small buck.

He wasn’t the biggest I saw on the property, but he was a nice little 9 pointer. Honestly he was perfect for my first buck, as most people around here do not get an opportunity to shoot a buck like him.

So I watched him as he stepped out of the bottom, into the clearing. As I was getting ready, he would step behind a tree, so I had to wait. He finally turned a little headed away from me and presented the bed shot.

I said a prayer for my arrow to do its job and released it into the air. It hit him perfectly, right where I was aiming! He ran less than 100 yards, before taking his last breath.

I was excited but also in disbelief that after so many years,  I finally was able to get an animal with a bow. I just wished I could have shared that moment with my family. Although I did get to share it with God!

I went and picked my husband up from his stand and when we were headed to the buck, we had a fork horn almost walk up to us. He actually followed me to get the four wheeler.

The look on my girls faces were priceless and I was definitely happy to help fill the freezer!

Dont ever give up on something you love to do! No matter what it is, you can find a way!

“Now then, please take your gear, your quiver and your bow, and go out to the field and hunt game for me” Genesis 27:3

“God was with the lad, and he grew; and he lived in the wilderness and became an archer.” Genesis 21:20

Dirt Bike Wreck

So when I was out of high school, I decided to ride a dirt bike. It looked like fun and I loved doing things, “girls shouldn’t”! I was fearless and not scared of showing the boys up!

At the time I had a track right down the road that everyone would go ride at. One day when everyone was at my house riding dirt bikes, I hopped on one. Now granted they were all racing dirt bikes, and I didn’t wear a helmet. For one no one had one that would fit, and I also didn’t think I needed it.

I was doing really good and they said to, “Give it gas and put it in the next gear”. So of course I did. Well it was fine til I gave it more gas and got thrown back and locked my elbows. I was full throttle and couldn’t let go!

I didn’t scream but had no clue what to do. The first landscape timber I went over and landed fine. Even the second one I made it over without crashing.

After the second I looked up and saw a brick house less than 20 feet away, and managed to go another direction. But when I did, I failed to see the tree stump.

I hit the stump and tumbled, and blacked out for a little bit. When I came to, my head hurt a little, but hand felt funny. They told me to go lay down so went in the house. I think I blanked out again.

Afterwards I looked at my left hand and it was froze in a c shape close to my chest. My right elbow, I was unable to move, and head hurt. I decided to go to hospital.

The first hospital I went to, they took one X-ray and said I sprained it and wrapped me up. The next morning my dad was not happy and took me to another one.

That morning I had surgery as I completely shattered my left hand and cracked my right elbow. Plus I had a concussion. The doctor put 3 pins in my hand and a cast.

My right elbow they said I could wear a sling but nothing else really due to location. But I did end up with nerve damage due to the wreck. I also couldn’t go more than 90 degrees with the elbow.

It made it hard to drive a standard, with the cast and my right arm, and even had to sell my bow.

I was pretty disappointed but managed to continue on. I never gave up on getting another bow. I even kept trying over the years to pull other people bows back.

I  finally managed to pull one back and will continue my story at a later time.

Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Mathew 19:26


First blog post

pexels-photo-247462.jpegI started this blog to share with others, my journey.  We each have ups and downs. But during these tests, we have our testimonies. With my journey I have seen my share of trials that I have overcome. My journey is not over yet and still working on accomplishing my dreams! I just hope that by sharing my stories, it may help at least one person in their journey.