Crossroads in life

I’m at a point in my life where I’m kind of stuck at a crossroad. I thank God every day for everything I have as he has provided me so much.

But sometimes I wonder if I meant for more sometimes I wonder if I’m on the right path. Before my accident I thought I knew what I was meant to do. But now there is a possibility that might not happen. I love horses and I know getting back on one is going to take a lot of work for myself. As when I got on my mom’s horse for that short time I was scared.

I don’t know what my journey may hold. I just know that no matter what I’ve got to keep trying. I am trying to live day by day instead of in the what if’s or future as tomorrow is never promised to anyone.

I love my life and if I wore to die today I would be happy. I get to live in the country, have my horses, work at an amazing place, I have wonderful family. I am no longer living in a world of regret.

I know everything happens for a reason and eventually some of those reasons come to light, other times they do not.

I know it’s hard, but I’m learning that just because your path changes directions, doesn’t mean the end. It just means the next road may be a detour and you will end on the same path. Or it could mean that where you end up is greater. God only knows and as long as we trust him, things will work out!

Don’t Judge Others

Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother’s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye?” Mathew 7:3

Too many pass judgement on others, when their closest is full of sin!

There’s a homeless man with a sign asking for food, you think to yourself he’s too lazy to keep a job. Yet you have changed jobs 3 times in the last year. When in reality he was a veteran fighting for this country. He’s seen things he can’t process, so he’s lost not only some of his fellow marines; he’s lost his family. So he’s alone & needs someone to care & love him.

There’s an underage, unwed girl in your town. You think she’s a slut, who you don’t want your daughter hanging out with. Yet when you were younger, you slept with many people yourself. What you don’t know is this girl never got love from her family. Her father is an alcoholic, and beats on her mom. She just wants to be loved. She’s scared yet puts on a front to try to keep from getting hurt.

A large person walks into a restaurant with a buffet, and you make a rude comment. Yet you overindulgence by seeing how much you can eat. This person is trying to lose wait, yet they have a medical condition. They have been called fat all their life and don’t have a strong support system. All they want is society to love them & accept them.

“Accept the one whose faith is weak, without quarreling over disputable matters. One person’s faith allows them to eat anything, but another, whose faith is weak, eats only vegetables.” Romans 14:1-2

A family member comes out they are gay. They are scared but are tired of hiding. Instead of loving them for the person they have always been, you past judgment on them. Just like every other situation mentioned above, you judge others by the way they look, or the sin itself. When you have a closet full of skeletons yourself.

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” John 8:7

We feel the need to judge others, although the only one that is meant to is the good Lord himself.

“For the Lord is our judge; the Lord is our lawgiver; the Lord is our king; he will save us.” Ephesians 33:22

We are out on this earth to love others! Guide them on their journey, and show them what Gods love can do for them. We are meant to follow the Ten Commandments, and grow love for Christ!

If we pass judgement on others, the only thing that it is doing is giving people reasons to not like God. Would you want to know & love a God that won’t forgive you for your sins? Our God GAVE his ONLY son to die for each one of US! Not so we can pass hate and judgement; but so we could live and love!

Our life should be full of living! When the time comes, God and only he, will place judgement. We don’t know what anyone else is going through. So instead of tearing others down, build them up.

Troubled Times

When we go through troubled times, we need to remember that evil will not win! If we turn to God, he will protect us and carry us through deep water as our enemies can’t swim!

Sometimes we wonder why would God do this to me or make me suffer. Why would God let an innocent person or child pass away. We often hear the answer is, “God will only give you what you can handle.”

I’m hear to tell you that is not the case! Not ALL trials are from God. The devil will try anything to get you to lose faith including making the wrong path seem like an easier road to travel.

God lets us make our own choices, although he already knows the plans for us. Some of the troubles are from choices he tried to get us to not do. You know that little voice in your head saying, “Do not do, or say that!” That’s God trying to protect us.

Now if we refuse to listen, Gods love is so big, that he will still love us through our tough times. When we are weak, he will carry us. When we hurt, he will heal us. He is more powerful than the devil ever will be.

The devil will try to push you over the edge, he will try to break you down. He puts fear and doubts in your mind. He is afraid of what God has in store for each one of us!

Sometimes the biggest battles go to the biggest warriors for God. Not because God wants to punish them, but he knows the blessings will be so huge and the devil is terrified! At times I feel like this is why some leave this earth to early.

God knows that the people that leave this earth too early, in our eyes, have been a blessing to so many others.

They are in heaven where the Devil can’t hurt them, where they have no pain, no sorrow. They are where the devil can’t push them over the edge.

Whose to say, God took them from this earth, to protect them. God knew something we did not, he also knew the future of the mourning will be tough. What we don’t know is the plan.

We just have to trust him that the reasonings are so much greater than the sorrows we may currently face. God is smarter than any of us, so we should not question why. I know it is hard at times.

But he will provide for us, watch over us, and help heal the hurting. God will never leave us through troubled times.

Just like the footprints in the sand, when there was 2 sets. When trouble hit, it went down to one set of prints. That was because God was carrying you through the trials!

So I know times will get tough, and you will want to give up. You want to lash out, hate God & everyone else, I completely understand. No amount of words will make trying times better. I just want you to know that you do have a future.

It does get better, not easier, but better. You will adapt, have a new normal, and survive. It may be the hardest thing you ever face, or preparing you for it.

One thing remains the same, no matter WHAT you are faced with, YOU have the power to overcome it. You can beat the odds and make the devil run. Remember Fear IS a liar, & YOU are good enough. The person you lost, you will see again, and the people they are helping now, through you, will never forget it.

Stay true to yourself, never give up, always have faith, and remember God IS greater than the devil will EVER be!

“The LORD is a refuge for the oppressed, a stronghold in times of trouble.” Psalms 9:9

I needed to sell my Barrel Horse

So when I was told after my injection to slowly start riding again, I jumped at the chance. Although I knew in the back of my head this was not the right time.

At first I told myself it was because he was a push style and with my hip injury, I really needed a free runner. I also wanted a 1D horse so I can move up a division. So I kept thinking to sell him and slowly look for another one and by that time I would be ready.

It was one of the hardest decisions I have ever made. I’ve had other horses but I had a connection with him. I got the horse when he only had 30 days of riding. I would ride him in an arena and he would run to the gate. He didn’t know how to neck rein, he was pretty flexible though and willing. He never loped before so he would do a crow hop at first til he learned where to place his feet with someone on him. It was by no means an “I don’t want you on me” buck.

I originally bought him for my daughter but they never really clicked. She could ride him but you could tell they just were not meant for each other. So I just kept riding him.

I trained him to where I could shoot a bow off of him, neck rein, move off your leg, carry flags, he won money in the 3D and 4D barrel races. He ran 22-23 in poles when I actually only played around in poles and ran him a couple times. He was easy to catch and just an overall fun horse to ride. He always took care of me! He was one of those horses that were just a joy to ride.

I had other horses I have bought and sold over the years and had no problem. There were some really good ones too. But this one was special!

I was so torn but God gave me strength to do it. I prayed about it for awhile and finally I decided to let go and trust God. This was a decision I made over more than a couple months.

The lady that I sold him to, has an unbelievable story and she is an inspiration. Looking back I know God placed her in my life for a reason and truly grateful I turned down a couple other people. I think she was the right fit.

It made my heart happy that he brought her joy. But I was still lost! I thought I was meant to go buy a free runner so when I was ready to ride I would just be ready. I would find a couple horses but nothing panned out.

I even had told a lady I would take a horse, but wanted to wait til she cleared from the vet. They made her an appointment that week and then when I called the vet, the vet said they cancelled the appointment. I called that lady and she had sold her to someone else. I know God was saving me on that one.

So then I started thinking, that is when I realized why I needed to sell my barrel horse. I didn’t have to sell him. He would have been perfect sitting in the pasture til I was ready.

It wasn’t because I needed a faster horse, it was because God had a plan for me and for that horse. But I know God’s plan is so much greater than mine!

He knew any horse I had, it would have to sit in the pasture for awhile. At the time I still wasn’t thinking I was going to have surgery. I thought I was on the downhill part of that journey. God knew different!

See in our lives God watches over each one of us. He knows what we are going to go through before we do. He knew I would be tempted to ride before I was physically and mentally ready so he took away all of the horses that I could ride.

I sold my barrel horse because I needed time. I needed to learn patience and how to grow both physically and mentally. I had to grow stronger in not only my faith but my body. I needed to help my daughters and enjoy time with them. I needed to focus on the little things in life as a whole picture.

God has put me on a wonderful journey and I know now I didn’t have to sell my horse, but I needed to. I’m trusting Gods plan! When I am ready to ride again, God will put a horse that’s ready in my life.

So for now I am enjoying my colts, family, work, and life! Each struggle we go through ends up a blessing in disguise, if we just open our hearts!

Thank You Lord (Nurse)

Dear Lord,

I don’t want to ask for anything, I just want to say thank you!

Thank you for giving me the wisdom to teach others.

Thank you for giving me the strength to get through the tough times.

Thank you for giving me a passion to help others in need.

Thank you for giving me compassion to Comfort those who have lost

Thank you for giving me empathy for the ones who will pass.

Thank you for giving me the power to stand up for others who don’t have a voice.

Thank you for making me humble.

Thank you for giving me accountability, to solve problems that arise.

Thank you for giving me the resilience to change.

Thank you for giving me integrity to do the right thing even when it’s hard.

But most of all thank you for allowing me to be a nurse!

Long Shot Cowgirl

Second week post op labral tear surgery

Well I can now get on and off the couch and the first part of week 2 I got in my bed and managed to sleep there. I had to take a pain killer as it hurt, when on the bed. But it was another step forward! I didn’t take any hydro-acet during the day, just at night

During the day I took the low dose aspirin still and Naproxen 2x a day to prevent bone ossification. My doctor was very adamant about taking the naproxen. To help with ulcer prevention, I also took medication to help that in the mornings.

I was awake enough to where I decided to work from home. It was not a lot of work, mainly computer work and talking on the phone at times. I didn’t really get off the couch much but did my “ankle pumps” and other exercises therapy recommended.

I noticed my ability to multi-task was non-existent and I forgot things easily. I had to do one thing at a time, which I am not used to. I also had to write stuff down to remind me to do something.

So I was scared that would continue and I would not get better. I was scared that I would be stuck being slow and could not do my job how it should be done.

My therapy went good this week, mainly just stretching exercises. I had a couple bad days but nothing to major. I was still on crutches and the brace. God was getting me through and giving me the strength I needed. I knew that this will pass and I was no longer impatient.

I have learned previously that no matter what, God will get me through threw bad times. I learned that we all have to go through trials to make us stronger. Each one of our journeys are different buy if we have Faith in God, our end result is the same. Yes I am ready to be free of this part of my life, but it is now part of me. I will keep on going.

Third week post op labral tear surgery

Monday I was not cleared to go back to work so just went to therapy and worked from home. I didn’t feel too bad, just sore and muscles tight.

Tuesday my husband drove me up the doctor, and I had a couple xrays. Everything looked good, and he said I could take off my brace and crutches next week. He also cleared me to drive as long as I felt okay. I was happy, and decided since I had my husband with me, I would try to drive, and if it didn’t work out then he could take over. Well when I was at the truck I was up on the curb, and I had my front door open. When I tried to get off the curb I lost my balance. I started to put pressure on my left leg, so I leaned forward and didn’t

catch myself. I ended up faceplanting into the truck. I caught my face on the steering wheel, but I didn’t hurt my hip thankfully. I went home and iced it.

Wednesday I went back to work, which that was a long day and definitely was sore that night. I was still on crutches and my brace so my muscles were pretty tight.

Thursday went to therapy and didn’t do too much as I was pretty sore from the day before. I started walking with my crutches as the doctor gave me 50% weight bearing status. I was slow and used the crutches but it made me feel like there was hope. When I got home I iced it. I still had a low grade fever and wasn’t able to multi-task.