I started this blog to share with others, my journey. We each have ups and downs. But during these tests, we have our testimonies. With my journey I have seen my share of trials that I have overcome. My journey is not over yet and still working on accomplishing my dreams! I just hope that by sharing my stories, it may help at least one person in their journey.
So I’m frustrated and I just don’t know where to start. I’m overwhelmed and with no answers, it is scary.
It’s scary not knowing what my daughter can or can’t eat. Or if she will go into anaphylactic shock for eating something she shouldn’t.
I think The biggest thing is the unknown. Everything is just so new and only 2 doctors are really studying what she has, so it is scary.
One minute she was enjoying hotdogs & hamburgers the next we found out they were making her sick. So that’s another I struggle I deal with. I was feeding my child something that was hurting her, without even knowing.
How can something so tiny cause that much trouble? Some say the government trials, others say it’s been around but no one knew about it. All I know is it is now a part of my family’s life. We have to make life changes which can be very trying!
Sometimes we have to cook two different meals, while others we try new things. I have to not only watch but teach her what to watch for. We have to make sure she doesn’t feel left out and provide education to her school, friends, and other family.
This is a life altering & can be life threatening diagnosis. There is currently no cure and it can get worse over time. So all I can do is learn as much as possible, ask lots of questions, and most of all, provide support for her.
Life changes, we just have to gain more knowledge and move on.
Went to the doctor yesterday and he said she goes back in 3 months. Praying the test is negative as he said it has to be negative 2x before he would let her chance eating any red meat. So if that one is negative she will go back in 3 more months for another test. As you can have false positives.
So she still can’t have any “hairy mammal” meat. He said that sometimes people can go into remission but it is still too new to determine too many details on whether they can safely eat meat. But there are now studies on alpha-gal. So hopefully there will be better answers soon.
She has to be careful about some foods you wouldn’t think have meat byproducts including some medications. But he said Claritin as well as the equate version of liquid Benadryl is okay for her to use.
So a lot of new things. Her tests also confirms her allergy to milk, which we already knew about.
It is hard to change your whole lifestyle, so quick, from one thing that happened. It can be life threatening but so far it’s not. Hopefully we can keep it that way.
So for now we just keep on praying and have faith for healing!
So what exactly is alpha gal allergy. It is an allergy that has been recently discovered that prevents people from eating red meat because an allergic reaction. They are still researching but it has been found to be caused by lone star ticks and chiggers.
So my daughter was diagnosed from a blood test with this allergy test last June 2019.
At first I was shocked but I wasn’t upset because I have faith that everything is going to work out. Yes I want to cry but I was at work so I sucked it up. I couldn’t cry at home because my husband was gone to an archery tournament and I was the only one caring for the kids. I didn’t want her to worry.
It is hard to have to tell your kid she can’t do something, especially when she loves something. When I sat her down she thought I was joking. She just turned 11 and she loves Spaghetti and meatballs, ribs and jerky. She can no longer eat “hairy meats” My daughter was upset but handled it well, and first thing that came to mind for her was no jerky. She handled it better than most adults would and she completely understood what was going on.
There is a chance this can be temporary as long as she doesn’t get bit again.
I have complete faith that God will heal her and this is only temporary. As a little background, she went to running camp and got ate up by chiggers and had a bad blood infection. She was sick for a couple weeks and every since then every so often she gets this rash that looks like a bruise. It was not very frequent so I never put it together that it would be an allergy. She also had stomachaches, headaches, and some minor rashes that looked like dry skin. It never was right after she ate, so when they said that I was shocked.
Now I am a firm believer that the people who are the least educated are the ones who worry the most. Man was I right on that! I started studying and asking and joined some groups to learn more.
But the problem is it is so new that there is not a lot of information. The CDC doesn’t even recognize it as a tick borne illness at this time.
There are some that have this that go into anaphylactic shock, which I am glad she has not. I still don’t believe it, I guess, but I think that just because she will be fine. There is not a cure, but we have a God I give all of our fears and our problems too. I know he is going to get us through.
Although I am still scared it’s not going to go away & she’s going to have a lot of changes. If it gets worse she’s going to have to carry an EpiPen. For only an 11 year old that is a lot but I know there are other kids out there dealing with so much worse. It’s just a rough road, but I know that our God is strong enough to take care of whatever we need. We will know more in a few weeks and I will update as needed but I’ve never thought it would be my child but I’m grateful and a little relieved that we are finally getting answers.
It is a start and I pray God will watch over us. No ma’am what we face there is always a silver lining. We just have to look a little harder at times.
Until more answers, we will pray, and enjoy life. We find a way to move on.
No matter what we face in life, are struggles are no less important than others. It’s our attitude and actions that truly mean something.
When we get sucked into the judgement of ourselves and others, you will never reach the top. I love this quote:
Put yourself in their shoes but don’t live in them.” Author Unknown
Try to putting yourself in others shoes. As we all struggle with our own battles, health, mental, or maybe financial. Our obstacles that seem like mountains, may be hills to others. But it doesn’t make them any less treacherous.
If someone is rude, that doesn’t make them a bad person. They may have hit their limit on trials and need some positivity.
The impatient mom you see at the grocery store with the kid in the cart, she tried to plan her trip before her kid gets grumpy from needed a nap. she is also running off less than two hours of sleep as her child is teething. She doesn’t get much help from the father either.
The person whose lights are flashing and right at your tailgate to pass you then speed by, may have got a call from the hospital their loved one took a turn for the worst. They are just trying to get there to say goodbye.
The tractor driver in front of you when you are in a hurry, is not wanting to hold you up. They are just trying to get work done to provide for their family and livestock before the weather turns bad.
The person who parks in the handicap spot and doesn’t have any noticeable disabilities; was in a car wreck and messed up their lower back to where it is extremely painful to walk. But there are tired of having to depend on others.
The person driving a brand new truck and trailer, you assume their life is so easy. Yet they put in a lot of time at work, sacrificing time with family, & friends. Or maybe they were in a car wreck and after paying off the hospital bills, decided to do something nice for their family to put up with them during their suffering. They still have struggles as well and are humans too.
See most of our trials are not visible to others. Think about yours? So if we judge people just by the way they look, what they drive, or how they act really doesn’t do anyone justice.
The second part, don’t live in their shoes! Too many people now days want to judge others by their accomplishments, looks, or material things. When they should be focusing on how to better themselves, and help others.
You see if you try to live in someone else’s shoes, you will never find your true purpose.
I thought I always had to win championships and be at the top in order for people to hear what I have to say when it comes to how God has helped me. I love God and what he has done for me and still does for me.
But what is not was not what God wanted. He stopped me in my tracks and showed me so many other things.
I now have seen all sides, from being a nurse for the dying and living; mother, wife, leader, worker, patient. I have faced and still facing the road to recovery from injury, chronic pain, depression at times, other health issues, kids health issues, and financial issues. But God has never once gave up on me! He won’t give up on you either!
He showed me no matter WHO you are or what you have done, your testimony matters. We are each called for a purpose in this life and the only way to achieve that is by moving forward and letting go.
Let go of the negativity towards others. If someone is rude or having a rough time pray for them. You don’t have to physically go up to the person but sometimes that can open doors you wouldn’t dream of.
See I know God loves me. He has spared my life more than I can count. He’s taught me patience, compassion, honesty, & integrity.
I am still human and make mistakes. But I try to see the good in people and focus on the positive. I still don’t know where I am going in life, but I do know, I am right where I am supposed to be at today.
So instead of being another problem, be a solution. Be an example to others by not judging! Try to see things from their perspective.
You know the saying the grass always looks greener on the other side? Well sometimes it may look that way but honestly it’s the same grass you have, they just handle things a little different.
This a tribute to an amazing person who is now in heaven rejoicing and singing praises. We lost a truly amazing person May 3, 2019. She was a warrior, child of Christ, mother, fighter, and so much more!
She was the kind of person that Even though she went through a major fight with cancer and the devil; she never complained. She always had a beautiful smile on her face and put others first. She always took the time to help others in need.
There were times when quitting seemed easier with some of the things I went through but she inspired me, along with many others, to be a better person & always keep going. She had a heart of gold. I just can not say enough good about her.
I struggled a few times and she always knew what to say. Some of her key phrases I remember her telling me is:
Winning: If you are out there trying you may not win the gold buckle but you will be winning. Never giving up will pay off if you keep trying. Winning is not letting the devil take your faith away! Winning is overcoming fear and conquering your demons. Winning is the baby steps you take on your way to greatness.
I was struggling with things after my wreck and not riding horses yet; and at the time she wasn’t riding horses either. She sent me this message and it gave me hope. She never waivered in her faith and was truly inspirational!
The last thing I got was a text from her, as even in her toughest times she still sent out a positive texts on Fridays.
“If you don’t value yourself, don’t expect anyone else to value you. Be the best you God intended you to be and not who the devil hoped you were.” Rpotter
She loved helping others and loved showing what Faith can do. I know many people said at her celebration of life, how she didn’t want anyone to know how sick she truly was. She did it because she didn’t want anyone to lose faith.
I was struggling with sleep and kept having nightmares for almost a month. Then one night, I had a dream with her in it. I sent this to her the next day but never got to tell her the details of the Dream.
“I had a dream about you last night. It was strange. You were at my house and we were talking about life and God. It was actually a very peaceful dream. Which I haven’t been having lately. I really can’t describe it. ”
See in this dream it felt so real, like she was right there. We talked about our kids, husbands, and everything else good going on with our lives. We talked about how God puts people in our lives for certain times, just like Esther. We talked how he protects us and in the end we will be surrounded by a peaceful fog with a huge glorious light shining through from above and we would be lifted up by the hand of God to the golden gates of Heaven.
This dream brought me so much peace and not even sure how it came about.
I will never be able to thank her enough or her family enough for supporting her while she followed Gods dreams for her. She was an amazing person and I just hope I’m at least 1/2 that good of a person. I’ll miss her Sunday morning services before barrel racing, her mentorship, her positive texts, her unbelievable prayers, her faith, her compassion, and most of all her heart. She absolutely loved her family and was so proud of them. Never once did I hear her say anything negative. She will truly be missed but I know I will see her again.
So in honor of her, think positive, be positive, show others positivity; but most of all HAVE FAITH and NEVER GIVE UP! Your problems are all in God’s hands so give it to him and focus on what God wants you to do with your life. As Roxy would say the battle was already won, you just focus on God and doing the right thing and let God handle your problems. Because YOU, YES You, were made for such a time as this!
Have you ever drove down the road and seen trash scattered, or bags to be picked up? Have you seen someone’s vehicle that you can’t sit in because they haven’t cleaned it in years? Well our lives are pretty similar.
Just like the trash scattered all over the roads, we can scatter our “trash” as well. Think of a time you said something to someone that wasn’t nice when you were angry or hurt. Most people do that to try to make themselves feel better, or keep from getting hurt.
When honestly it is not making things better. As that words that got tossed out of your mouth has hurt someone. Just like the trash it can kill or hurt animals or other people.
We don’t think it’s a big deal, as we don’t deal with it. Someone else usually has to come through and clean up the mess.
Now there are times when you get called out for throwing trash out. But that doesn’t mean to keep it bottled up. That can be just as bad.
If we don’t properly handle your trash, it can destroy you. Just like a car that no one cleans out.
If we keep holding things in, whether it’s because too nice or too scared, it doesn’t end well. All their frustrations keep piling up, and they have no release. They have so much built up fear, frustration, disappointments, and negativity, that eventually there is no room for anyone else. Just like the car, if you can’t keep it clean, who wants to ride with you?
Whether you throw out trash, or keep it piled up, there is an answer! The answer is simple: leave your trash at the altar!
The only one that is strong enough to handle our problems or who can clean us up, is God. If we take it to the altar, leave everything there! Don’t throw it out to have others have to clean it up. Don’t hold it inside to build up. Take it to the garbage can and get rid of it!
The altar is there to be our garbage can. All our problems, hate, emotions, struggles, and whatever else we are struggling with.
The altar is there to help us make amends, open our hearts, and minds in order to clean us.
So when we are faced with difficulties, instead of throwing it out the window to affect others, or keeping it bottled up, take it to the altar!
Time to take out the trash and renew ourselves!
I had so much going on last year that I didn’t have time to process much. Between work, kids, and recovering, it really didn’t give me a chance.
Everyone in my family wrote on a piece of paper a goal for the year. The bigger the goal the better. My goal last year was simple, to get stronger so I can ride horses again.
Now I did get to ride a couple times last year for a short time. But the fear of the what if’s took over. Which is crazy as I didn’t get hurt on a horse. I got hurt in a truck. Crazy I know! I seen what it did to my husband and kids when I was not able to take care of myself, and I didn’t want it to happen again. So I became cautious.
With that means putting what I love in a drawer and locking it away. Not really on purpose but I just had something telling me not yet.
Maybe it was me listening to the doctor when he said he didn’t recommend me riding but if I did to wait at least a year. Maybe it was me fearing of what I would accomplish. Maybe it was a fear of what if I am unable to do what I love without hurting myself again.
So many things, yet my life was so hectic I never figured it out last year. During the New Year I did have a chance to reflect.
I know God was telling me not yet for a reason. I trust that he knows best and I should always follow when he tells me to do, or not to do something!
I realize that I am not afraid of horses or riding, I’m afraid getting on the horse and not being able to keep riding. Not of getting hurt, but me not being able to physically ride.
Yes I know it is a crazy thing to be scared of. I should be just thankful I am here, and I know I am blessed. Like everyone else, I have emotions too, and I’m human as well.
We put thoughts in our heads that sometimes keep us out of trouble, but sometimes they keep us from accomplishing great things.
I believe we are all here for a purpose and I know life is too short. So instead of all the what if’s, I am taking the next step.
The next step is actually getting back on a horse, not just for a few minutes. Then continuously riding all year. This is the only way I will know if I can do it still.
I still have back and hip pain, and never got my back fixed. So not 100% sure if my body will handle me riding like I used to. But if I don’t at least try, then I will be giving into what the devil wants. I will be giving into my fears, and for that I need to try!